[A minor, i-VI-III-VII, 94 BPM, alt hip-hop rap-rock, male rap vocal] [Grounded Verse 1, 16 bars, A minor] I list the symptoms like I'm reading off a chart Flat affect, poor appetite, a mind that won't restart Fifteen minutes on the clock, the doctor takes a note Writes a starting dose down, says give it time, I hope Four weeks later nothing's changed, I tell him like a fact He doubles the milligrams, says we adjust the tract I don't ask what it's for, I just take what's assigned Another chemical experiment running through my mind [Cracking Pre-Chorus 1, 8 bars] He asks me how I'm feeling, I say fine, I say okay That's the script we're both reading, that's the price we pay But somewhere just behind my eyes, a different answer waits I swallow it back down again, I swallow what it takes [Clear Chorus, 16 bars] I can feel myself going under Somewhere past the numbers, past the names Still in here, still trying to remember Who I was before they drowned the pain They keep on saying that it's working They keep on saying that it's fine But there's a version of me drowning Somewhere underneath the line [Grounded Verse 2, 16 bars, tape wobble entering] Six weeks in, I report the same complaint again Sleep still broken, mood still low, nothing's changed within He switches the prescription, says this one works better Cites a study, cites a name, hands me a different letter I ask him careful questions now, he answers procedure Never asks what's underneath, never asks what triggered Just adjusts the cocktail, tracks the milligrams like weather I'm a symptom list to manage, not a man to tether [Fraying Pre-Chorus 2, 8 bars] He asks me how I'm feeling, I say fine, I say I'm fine Reading off the same old lines, blurring at the edges now But somewhere just behind my eyes, that answer's getting loud I swallow it back down again, harder every time somehow [Fraying Chorus, 16 bars, wow and flutter] I can feel myself going, going under Somewhere past the numbers, past the names Still in here, still trying to remember Who I was, who I was before the pain They keep on saying, saying it's working They keep on saying that it's, it's fine But there's a version, version of me drowning Somewhere, somewhere underneath the line [Weighted Verse 3, 16 bars, pitch instability] Ninety days review, I bring a list I wrote myself Side effects outnumber symptoms, I say it like for help He nods, says that's expected, adds a third pill to the mix Something for the side effects the second pill inflicts I laugh out loud in session, he writes it down as mood Improved engagement, patient smiling, hope renewed I want to scream the truth but the chart has no such line Just another modification, another change in time [Fragmenting Pre-Chorus 3, 8 bars] He asks, I don't answer right, the words come out all wrong Reading off a script I don't, don't remember writing on Somewhere just behind my eyes, it's louder than before I can't swallow it back down, I can't hold it anymore [Warped Chorus, 16 bars, fraying hard] Going, going under, going under Past the numbers, past the names, the names Still in here, still in here, remember Who I, who I was before Saying, saying that it's working Saying that it's, it's fine Version of me, version drowning Underneath, underneath the line [Heaviest Verse 4, 16 bars, warped and dragging] One year in, five different pills, the numbers on the page I've become a case study in slow controlled rage He says the newest option shows real promise in the trials Increases one, adds one, smiles his practiced clinical smile I stopped bringing lists, stopped bringing words, stopped bringing me Just show up, take the dose, and let the doctor see What he wants to see, a patient stable, in compliance While something underneath me drowns without a voice [Collapsing Pre-Chorus 4, 8 bars] He asks, I can't, I can't find, find the words to say Nothing scripted's left in me, nothing left to swallow, no Somewhere just behind my eyes, it's all that's left, it's all I can't hold, I can't hold it, I can't hold [Disoriented Bridge, 16 bars, most degraded] I don't know which pill is talking now Don't know which version of me signed the form Doctor says I'm stable, doctor says I'm fine But stable's just a word for barely holding on Somewhere in this fog there used to be a person Somewhere in this fog I think I used to feel Now I just nod along and take what they call helping While something real keeps sinking, sinking, unreal [Final Warped Chorus, 16 bars, most fragmented] Under, under, going under Numbers, names, the names, the names Still in, still in, still in Who I, who I Working, working, it's, it's Fine, fine, it's, it's Drowning, drowning, drowning Line, line, the line [Warped Instrumental Outro, 8 bars, unresolved] [Hard stop, clean cutoff]
