[Intro – manic whisper + FX] Schlong in the morning, schlong on the attack (Schlong-schlong) Schlong through life—yo, look what I unpack (Schlong-schlong) [FX: Reverse-Sweep → Whoosh] --- [Verse 1 – psycho fun sarcasm double-time rap + FX] Alert pops up, schlong-grumble—stay in bed, schlong! (Schlong-schlong) [FX: Digital-alert beeps] Binary schlong of ones and zeroes, reality booted, schlong! (Schlong-schlong) [FX: Glitch-synth static] Eyes sprung open, schlong-boulders tumble in my gut! (Schlong-schlong) [FX: Deep groan + sub-bass pulse] Alarm-schlong‐smasher, time-joke granted—schlong-crack, AAAAAH! (Schlong-schlong) [FX: Brief siren] Speedo-schlong needle snaps—01-00 turbo-launch, schlong! (Schlong-schlong) [FX: Speed-needle scratch] Coffee-schlong overflow, brown brew break-dancing, schlong! (Schlong-schlong) [FX: Coffee-maker gurgle + drips] Shirt inside-schlong-out, toothpaste schlongs the wall—MAAAAN! (Schlong-schlong) [FX: Tube-squeeze squelch] Mirror yells schlong-aggro: “Get lost!”—I schlong right back, schlong! (Schlong-schlong) [FX: Distorted echo] --- [HOOK – happy-feeling piwefu rap-sing mix + FX] Monday-schlong-madness! (Happy weekend? Nah, schlong!) (Schlong-schlong) [FX: Glockenspiel chimes] Brain-schlong butting! Loud-screen waits, schlong! (Schlong-schlong) [FX: Digital crunch] Wonderful schlong-morning! Blissful vibes, schlong! (Schlong-schlong) [FX: Subtle hall on “schlong”] Monday-schlong-madness! (Happy weekend? Nah, schlong!) (Schlong-schlong) Brain-schlong butting! Loud-screen waits, schlong! (Schlong-schlong) Wonderful schlong-morning! Blissful vibes, schlong! (Schlong-schlong) [FX: Beat-drop → section change] --- [Verse 2 – even faster double-time rap + FX] Pants schlonged on, back pocket ripped—schlong chaos! (Schlong-schlong) [FX: Cloth rustle + tear] Left sock lost, schlong-briar in the hall—damn, schlong! (Schlong-schlong) [FX: Sock flap] One gulp of milk—sour schlong surprise! (Schlong-schlong) [FX: Glass shatter] No way, schlong-world—running late, boss goes schlong-berserk! (Schlong-schlong) [FX: Chair squeak + door slam] Inbox-schlong explodes, eyeballs burn—tech is dead, schlong curse! (Schlong-schlong) [FX: Computer error beep] --- [Bridge – half-sung, half-screamed + FX] The schlong-universe conspires! (Schlong-schlong) [FX: Dark drone] Against my Monday-schlong desires! (Schlong-schlong) [FX: Tension riser] Time gets schlong-twisted, life’s a schlong joke! (Schlong-schlong) [FX: Time-stretch echo] My schlong coffee mug is broke! (Schlong-schlong) [FX: Ceramic smash + drips] --- [Verse 3 – max-speed rap + FX] Elevator schlong-muzak tortures my Monday brain, (Schlong-schlong) [FX: Lift chime + static] Coworker brags weekend tales—I feel pure schlong pain, (Schlong-schlong) [FX: Hall voice] Meetings nonstop—schlong marathon, no break in sight! (Schlong-schlong) [FX: Heartbeat pulse] Stomach growls, monster-schlong—how long till I ignite? (Schlong-schlong) [FX: Roaring beast] PC freezes, mega-schlong email unsent—password denied! (Schlong-schlong) [FX: Keyboard rumba + error beep] Lunch drops, schlong-kebab in dust—Monday laughs: “More schlong?” (Schlong-schlong) [FX: Sandwich thud + spotlight zoom] --- [FINAL HOOK – gang vocals with harmony + FX] Monday-schlong-madness! (Schlong-schlong) Brain-schlong butting! Loud-screen waits, schlong! (Schlong-schlong) Wonderful schlong-morning! Blissful vibes, schlong! (Schlong-schlong) [FX: Confetti-cannon blast + drumroll] Monday-schlong-madness! (Schlong-schlong) Brain-schlong butting! Loud-screen waits, schlong! (Schlong-schlong) Wonderful schlong-morning! Blissful vibes, schlong! (Schlong-schlong) [FX: Fade-out sweep] --- [Outro – chaotic echo + FX] Schlong in the morning, schlong on the attack, (Schlong-schlong) Schlong through life—forever schlong-unpacked! (Schlong-schlong) [FX: Distorted tape loop → infinite echo]
