“Sister Ursula’s Boot Camp”

“Sister Ursula’s Boot Camp” [start] [Intro: Playful acoustic strum with light train-beat and a touch of harmonica] [Verse] Boot camp started Monday, and by Tuesday I was sure My DI woke up angry just to keep his voice pure He got inches from my eyeballs, yellin’ loud enough to shake But I’d seen that look before, boys—it was nothin’ I couldn’t take My buddies whispered, “How’re you standin’ still? Why ain’t you fallin’ apart?” I said, “Compared to Sister Ursula, this man’s got a gentle heart.” They thought I was just jokin’, but I meant every single word ’Cause I’ve heard scarier sermons than anything I’ve heard here on earth [Instrumental fill: Playful harmonica slide over chugging guitar] [Chorus] So I said, “Boys, just do what the DI says— If he don’t kill ya, he’ll make you strong.” They asked me why I ain’t shakin’ When everything feels so wrong. Well, I was raised by holy warriors Who marched us down those Catholic halls— And Sister Ursula’s Boot camp Didn’t tolerate mistakes at all. [Verse] That night I dreamed of childhood, and the past came rollin’ in Hallways waxed to mirrors, where our guilt would slip and spin Kids runnin’ wild like heathens, shoes squeakin’ as they flew But the moment that bell rang silent—oh Lord, we all knew She stepped out like a shadow, black habit in full swing Only now she wore a DI hat—Lord, I swear I heard it sing She blew a whistle shaped like judgment, barked orders with divine precision Saw my best friend catch a ruler, stumbled into a new religion [Instrumental break: Harmonica riff laughing over the strings] [Chorus] So I said, “Boys, just do what the DI says— This ain’t my first rodeo.” They asked how I keep from cryin’ When fear begins to overflow. I said, “Son, I learned composure From a woman carved of righteous stone— And Sister Ursula’s Boot Camp Trained the backbone in my bones.” [Bridge] Now some folks say their childhoods Were gentle, soft, and sweet… Mine marched in cadence down the hall With fast, determined feet. But pain becomes a blessing When you know what it all means— Sometimes the angels who toughen you Wear black… and 50 caliber rulers [Chorus] So I said, “Boys, just do what the DI says— No need to panic or complain.” Life gives you drill instructors Long before the real campaign. And when the world tries breakin’ you, Remember what your past has seen— ’Cause Sister Ursula’s Boot Camp Prepared me to be a Marine. [Outro: Soft chuckle from harmonica, guitar winding down like a long walk home] [end]