My fickle thoughts (chaos 1)

[Spoken Intro – no music] I know this is toxic. But I love you. … No. That’s not love. That’s addiction. (exhale) ⸻ [Verse 1 – drums hit immediately] You treated strangers better ’Cause they hadn’t disappointed you yet You loved me louder When I wasn’t yours to protect We were better memories Than we ever were people When I’m asked about you I say I’m fine — but that’s illegal I can’t help that we outgrew things But I still reach for you in my sleep And I hate that I still do ⸻ [Chorus – melodic but chest-pushed] I don’t want you (Background cracked: hate the way I think about you now…) I don’t want you (Background cracked: hate the way I think about you now…) But what I want Is to want you to want me To want you But I don’t want you ⸻ [Verse 2 – slightly faster, unstable] You call me when you’re lonely Like I’m still on reserve Say nobody gets you But you gave them my words We break up, I’m gold We together, I’m invisible You say it was just a break But it still feels unforgivable I was out there too So what does that even say Guess I’m just as guilty But it hurt me anyway ⸻ [Bridge – instrumental swelling] We were soulmates Or we were just young Thought forever meant We couldn’t come undone I reach for my phone Then I put it back down If it’s really over Why you still around? ⸻ [Final Chorus – emotionally overloaded] I don’t want you (Background cracked, louder: hate the way I think about you now…) I don’t want you (Background strained: hate the way I think about you now…) But what I want Is to want you to want me To want you …But I don’t want you. (Beat drops.) My fickle thoughts just— — silence — ⸻ [Spoken Outro – defeated, no music] I know this is toxic. … I really did love you. I just don’t know how to do it right. (soft inhale) …yea— CUT.