~•Death By Ant 🐜 •~ I was deep in the mines for most of the night, Torch burnin’ low with the walls real tight. Found me a spawner and a chest full of gold, Backpack so heavy damn near broke my soul. Took a few hits gettin’ out alive, Half a heart left and no food to survive. So I crawled from the cave like Shawshank Steve, Clutching stacks of Gold like the 40 Thieves. Then I heard it… [Beat Stop] ticc..ticc...skrrt I froze so hard My soul was on alert. I looked to the left, Looked to the right. And I Turned around slow, Like I saw the Light. Then this tiny little tax-auditor from hell came sprintin’ at my ankles like a werewolf under moonlight! DEATH BY ANT?! Brother tell me that’s a lie, I just fought hordes of monsters now I’m losin’ to a speck with eyes?! DEATH BY ANT?! That little bastard moves too damn fast, Swingin’ at the air like an old drunk priest, Exorcising demons on a Sega Dreamcast. DEATH BY ANT?! Brother this is gettin’ tragic! Killed twelve zombies with a shovel, Now I’m losin’ to an ant, Like it's made of Magic! Tiny Legs! Mean little eyes! Now the Shame is unbearable, And I can't face the guys! I fought the dark, I mined the Land, Then nearly lost my Bloodline, To a burnt crouton's backhand. Couldn’t hit him. Couldn’t track him. Little dude dodged like Snipes and taxes. Every single time I thought I had Fled, he’d come from behind like the Evil Dead. At this point, Discord boys are laughin’, While I’m battlin’ Satan in arthropod fashion. One of the boys yelled: “BRO JUST HIT IT.” Yeah thanks Chad, I'm trying... Minecraft Gods keep this demon flying. Thing kept bitin’ my shins like rent was due, Health bar lower than my self-esteem too. I’m panic-clickin’, scream-laugh-cryin’, Soundin’ like a shopping cart slowly dyin’. I swung so hard I mined half the hill, Ant still standin’ there ready to kill. At this point I’m negotiatin’ peace, Like “Listen lil’ brother… we can BOTH eat leaves” DEATH BY ANT?! Ain’t nobody gonna believe this story. Survived the caves, survived the dark… Then this angry little Heifer, came and stole my glory. DEATH BY ANT?! Put my gear inside a chest, When Emmy posts this in the Wall of Shame Just tell the boys I fought my best. DEATH BY ANNNNNNNT! Tiny Demon from the Dirt, Almost sent me home respawned in a Shirt! “He conquered the dungeon…” “He escaped the darkness…” “…and nearly got folded by an angry sunflower seed with legs.” Discord laughter erupts “His bloodline may recover…” “…but his reputation never will.” “Uploaded permanently… to the No Home-Oh... Wall of Shame.”
