[Intro: deep snoring] [Snoring stops] [SNORLAX: extremely deep, sleepy] ...That was the diss? You sound like a Pokédex entry with a beat behind it. [Beat drops] [Verse 1] Five minutes telling us you’re rare, floating through the chorus begging people to care. One-five-one, original, ancient design, you repeat your résumé like we missed it the first time. You call yourself the blueprint? Blueprints get revised. You’re the rough first draft before the franchise optimized. Every Pokémon came from you? That’s your big flex? Evolution spent generations correcting the specs. You hide in the jungle where nobody can look, so rare they barely knew what to put in the Pokédex. You’re a playground rumor under a truck by the S.S. Anne dock. [Beat cuts] Yeah. We all pushed it. You weren’t there. [Verse 2] You roasted Pikachu for selling hats and sheets, that’s jealousy wearing Psychic underneath. You call his fame marketing like fame makes him weak, then spend your whole chorus repeating your own name on beat. You mocked Pika-pika, then did the same thing too. That punch came around and landed back on you. At least Pikachu shows when somebody wants smoke. You vanish from existence then call disappearing dope. Then Bulbasaur caught shots for being number one. Ancient genetic legend beefing with a plant for fun. Little cabbage-back starter? That’s your lyrical peak? Centuries of wisdom and you’re roasting his leaf? You mocked him needing sunlight just to stay alive, while hiding in a rainforest. [Dry laugh] Great angle. Nice try. [Chorus] Wake me when it matters. Wake me when she’s through. Everybody came from Mew? Then what happened to you? Big mythology. Same old interview. Five minutes saying you’re important. Nobody asked Mew. You’re the source? Fine. Ancestral glue. If everybody came from Mew, why’d everybody improve? [Verse 3] Every move available? Yeah, that used to hit. Having every textbook doesn’t mean you know shit. Having every tool doesn’t make you any better. Swiss Army kitten with identity issues forever. Every move in existence. Still nothing distinctly you. Transform? Great. Ditto built a career off that too. Psychic? Not unique. Ancient Power? Not new. Your whole personality is please remember I’m Mew. You can copy every style, every shape, every plan, but with all those options you never became your own brand. [Bridge] [Tired sigh] And then... you mentioned Mewtwo. [Deep laugh] That was stupid. [Verse 4] He couldn’t exist without you? Correct. And somehow you thought that earned you respect? They found your DNA, put your genes in a tube, then built something taller, meaner, louder than you. You call yourself the blueprint? Mewtwo’s the revision. Scientists saw your design and ordered a better edition. That’s not legacy. That’s version control. You’re source code somebody forked when the original got old. Mewtwo got rage. Mewtwo got speeches. Mewtwo hit theaters and owned whole features. You floated around giggling. He questioned existence. Same genes. Massive difference in presence. And YOU brought him up. Nobody forced that comparison. You walked into court and submitted your own embarrassment. Your greatest accomplishment? Someone improved your work. [Beat stops] [Whispered, extremely deep] Imagine bragging your clone has better character development. [Verse 5] Now you call yourself mother of the whole family tree, while Arceus somewhere wondering who you think you be. Dialga bends time. Palkia tears space. Giratina got exiled and still got more presence than your face. Kyogre moves oceans. Groudon raises land. Rayquaza stops disasters. You hide when people scan. You were mysterious when there were one-five-one. Then the universe got bigger and your argument got done. You call yourself ancient like old equals best. Kabuto is ancient too. Nobody hands him the crest. [Final Chorus] Wake me when it matters. Wake me when she stops. She confused being old with automatically being on top. We heard the blueprint speech twenty times. You got every move available except improving your rhymes. Blueprint. Ancestor. Source code. Fine. Nobody crowns the rough draft when the sequels outshine. [Outro] Every Pokémon carries a piece of Mew? [Long pause] [SNORLAX: extremely deep, half-asleep] Then apparently... we all got the good parts. [Deep chuckle] [Snoring]
