Let’s Be Adults About It

She said, “Let’s have an adult conversation, About how you’re wrong and I’m salvation.” I smiled, but deep inside I knew, An “adult” means her way -nothing new. Oh yes, I’m the child, the fool, the clown, The one who can’t keep his feet on the ground. She’s poised and calm, with a noble air, While I’m throwing tantrums in my underwear! She says, “Let’s talk it out, like grown-ups do.” Translation? “Shut up, I’m smarter than you!” Let’s be adults about it! (Adults, oh yes!) I’ll bow to your wisdom, confess, confess! Let’s be adults about it! (So mature, so wise!) I’ll sit in my corner while you analyze! She says I’m defensive-no, how could that be? I’m just dodging the bullets she fires at me! “Let’s use our words,” oh, what a line! They’re just weapons to make my guilt align. “Oh, darling, you’re perfect, so calm and mature, Your logic’s impeccable, your tone so pure.” [Pause, silence, then a snide laugh over piano trill] “But what a surprise-it’s all a façade, Your ‘adult conversation’ is just a mirage!” Let’s be adults about it! (Adults, oh yes!) I’ll bow to your wisdom, confess, confess! Let’s be adults about it! (So mature, so wise!) I’ll sit in my corner while you analyze! “What do you want from me?” “Adulthood! Maturity!” “And if I disagree?” “Childish! Immature! Oh, can’t you see?” Let’s be adults about it! (Adults, oh yes!) I’ll bow to your wisdom, confess, confess! Let’s be adults about it! (So mature, so wise!) You’re the queen of the grown-ups, I’ll take my prize! She says, “Let’s talk like grown-ups, no blame, no game.” But somehow it always ends the same. With her on the throne, her logic intact, And me… just wrong. Well, that’s a fact.