I Sit In Silence

Hey, are You listening now? It’s been a minute, I’ve been quiet Haven’t checked in, haven’t tried You might be wondering why I’m Caught in loops, sweating the small stuff When I should be out chasing sunsets, Savoring the good that still shows up I’ve been selfish, yeah—I see it No slick reason, no defense Barely holding it together And for some twisted reason I find comfort in the wreckage I sit in silence, watching the sparks Of my self-worth burn out in the dark Pretend it doesn’t faze me— Like I’m immune to people’s thoughts But deep down, it gnaws at me I just wear my pride like armor So I never have to ask For someone to reach in and pull me back Truth is, I’m drowning— But I can’t picture myself Without this weight on my chest Been this way so long That joy feels foreign Like something’s missing If I’m not aching I’ve got shadows I’ve never named Baggage tucked in corners Ghosts that whisper through the cracks Memories I never laid to rest Calls I’ve dodged Connections I’ve let fade Regrets I can't rewind Words I wish had stayed behind my teeth There are bridges I’m still afraid to rebuild And flaws I’ve buried, hoping no one digs Yeah, I’m the first to say I feel alone But the last to admit I want someone to hold on to Hope’s getting harder to find And I’m walking roads that twist too tight Funny how pain starts to feel like home So I keep sitting in this wreckage Watching pieces of me burn Saying I don’t care Though that couldn’t be further from the truth But I’d rather sink Than risk asking for a lifeline 'Cause honestly? I don’t know who I’d be If I wasn’t hurting I don’t know what’s ahead Or if I’ll ever get there But I know I can’t Stay stuck in this storm forever Still, here I am— Wearing the same disguise Telling the same lie That I’m fine in the fire When all I want Is a way out But I just can’t picture Who I’d be If I was finally… Happy