Brad, You're So Basic

[Intro – Spoken / Half-Sung] 🎙️ (with exaggerated sass) Oh my god, he’s literally everywhere. With his cleats, his smile, and that “I know I’m hot” hair flip? Yeah Brad, we see you. We just… pretend we don’t. 😏 Electric guitar riff kicks in with sparkly synths dum da-da-dum-dum — clap! [Verse 1] I walk the halls in my glitter boots Brad's got fans—but I bring the roots He's on the field, trying to impress But I know I’m the real princess, yesss 💅 He throws that ball like he owns the school But I throw shade, and girl—I rule Snap my gum, flip my hair Boy, don’t act like you don’t care 😘 [Pre-Chorus] He’s got the moves, he’s got the game But I’ve got diamonds in my name He don’t know it yet, but he’s mine (Once I’m done with this eyeliner line 💄) [Chorus – Anthemic] 🎶 Brad, you’re so basic, but you cute tho Catchin’ touchdowns, catchin’ my glow You’re in your jersey, I’m in my power You strut the field, I own the tower 💋 Brad, don’t front like you don’t look twice I’m sugar and fire and glitter and ice So play your game, run that dash But know this, babe: you’ll never outrun sass 💃 [Verse 2 – Bouncier] He drinks Gatorade, I sip tea And text my girls, “He just looked at me!!” He’s got fans in the bleachers scream I’ve got a lip gloss empire dream 💖 He wears Nike, I wear Chanel He’s late to class, I ring the bell 🔔 He’s a snack, I’m the whole buffet And he’s gonna find out today 🍭 [Pre-Chorus – Bigger] He scores goals, I score hearts He lifts weights, I lift charts 💅 Boy you sparkle, but let’s be clear: Without my name, you’d disappear ✨ [Chorus – Sassy Harmony Version] 🎶 Brad, you’re so basic, but you kinda pop Running through my mind like non-stop Yeah you’re dreamy, yeah you flex But I’m the queen of perfect texts 📱 Brad, I’m the twist in your storyline You’re the crush, I’m the headline So flash that grin, act all rad Just know you’re lucky I said “Hey Brad” 😉 [Bridge – Half-Whispered, Sassy Slow Beat] (with attitude, almost like a dramatic diary entry) I mean… You probably think this song's not about you (It totally is) You probably think you’re mysterious Nah babe, you're just obvious. 💅 [Breakdown – Chant Style with Claps] 🎶 B-R-A-D, he don’t even know he’s chasing me Sassy walk, lipstick pop I don’t chase—I make jaws drop Hey! (Hey hey!) Brad! (What!) Better catch up ‘fore this glitter stops ✨ [Final Chorus – Full Band + Harmonies] 🎶 Brad, you’re so basic, but you shine bright Under Friday night stadium lights 🌟 I’m the sparkle in your game plan You’re the boy—I’m the brand! 💖 Brad, yeah you’re cool but I’m legendary Like a love song in a pink-diary So go ahead, score your stats I’ll be here like: “Aww, look at Brad.” 😘 [Outro – Spoken] Girl: “Ugh… should we text him?” Other girl: “No, he can wait. We’re busy being iconic.” laughter + glitter sound effects as music fades