**[INTRO]** Oh, that’s happening now? Cool. Sure. Fuck it. Do it for the plot. **[VERSE 1]** I used to ask, “How could this happen?” Now I ask what time it starts Got catastrophe on autoplay And popcorn in the cart You said, “This one’s gonna change you” Baby, get in fucking line I’ve had twelve character developments Since breakfast time Bad news, good shoes Same shit, new room Somebody cue the dramatic zoom **[PRE-CHORUS]** I should probably care I swear I tried But somewhere around season five Something in me fucking died— Not *died* died. Relax. I’m just tired. **[CHORUS]** I-R-D-C Do whatever you want to me Fuck it up, make it weird Add a twist, disappear I-R-D-C Sure, let’s see where this one leads At this point this shitshow’s got A DVD collection A remake And a motherfucking spin-off series So— Do it for the plot Do-do-do it for the plot I don’t really care But apparently we’re not gonna stop **[POST-CHORUS]** Eh. Sure. Why not? Do it for the— p-p-p-plot. **[VERSE 2]** Another secret? Incredible. Another villain? Groundbreaking. Another person learned absolutely nothing? Babe, Emmy-winning. I’ve been shocked so many times The voltage doesn’t hit You could tell me aliens landed I’d be like— “Okay, but did they bring anything?” I’m not brave I’m not zen I just cannot do this shit again So if the ceiling starts collapsing Tell it I said come on in **[PRE-CHORUS]** Used to need an explanation Used to need to know the why Now the universe says “plot twist” And I barely look up like— “Fine.” **[CHORUS]** I-R-D-C Do whatever you want to me Fuck it up, make it weird We passed believable last year I-R-D-C Sure, let’s see where this one leads At this point this shitshow’s got Deleted scenes A box set And unnecessary fucking sequels So— Do it for the plot Do-do-do it for the plot I don’t really care But apparently we’re not gonna stop **[BRIDGE / DROP]** Cancel me Renew me Kill the arc Reboot me New cast Same trauma More ads Less drama— Actually, no. Somehow *more* drama. Director’s cut Commentary track Twenty years later Everybody’s back And I’m still here like “Was I supposed to learn something from that?” ...No? Perfect. **[FINAL CHORUS]** I-R-D-C There is nothing left to surprise me Drop the bomb Lose the key Put the shark on water skis I-R-D-C Roll the credits over me At this point this shitshow’s got A franchise A fandom And questionable continuity So fuck it— Do it for the plot Do-do-do it for the plot Maybe this gets good Maybe everything just fucking drops I-R-D-C I-R-D-C If we’re already here— **might as well see what happens.** **[OUTRO]** ...Wait. There’s another season? Of course there fucking is.
