Accidental Sex Offender

[Verse 1] Woke up this morning, thought I'd take a walk, Stepped out the door, didn't think to talk. Got halfway down the block, felt a chilly breeze, Looked down in horror, "Oh my God, please!" [Chorus] Accidental sex offender, I'm out on the street, No pants, no shorts, just my panties on repeat. People staring, phones out, I gotta retreat, Accidental sex offender, my life's on delete. [Verse 2] Saw Mrs. Johnson, walking her poodle, She gasped and dropped her bagel strudel. Kids on bikes pointing, laughing loud, I’m just praying I can blend in with the crowd. [Chorus] Accidental sex offender, I'm out on the street, No pants, no shorts, just my panties on repeat. People staring, phones out, I gotta retreat, Accidental sex offender, my life's on delete. [Bridge] Ran past the mailman, he gave me a glare, "Lady, where's your trousers? You need some care!" Dove behind a bush, tried to make a plan, But the whole damn neighborhood's in on the scan. [Verse 3] Finally saw my house, a beacon of hope, Dodged the old lady with the garden hose rope. Burst through the door, slammed it with a bang, Pulled on some pants, heart still sang. [Chorus] Accidental sex offender, I made it back home, No more public outings, no more naked roam. Lesson learned, check your clothes before you roam, Accidental sex offender, now I’m not alone. [Outro] So if you’re ever rushing, remember this tale, Don’t end up like me, almost in jail. Check your wardrobe, make sure it’s complete, Avoid the fate of the accidental streak.