Prayers, then names, then shoes. In the cattle car, night had a pulse; my father’s hand in mine, already farther than fear. Never shall I forget that night, the first night in camp, the night that turned my life into one long night. Never shall I forget that smoke. Never shall I forget the flames that consumed my faith. Never shall I forget. Barbed wire. Orders. Snow. A glance left, a glance right. My mother and sisters were gone before the gate had closed. We learned to count by absence. “Where is God now?” “Here He is — He is hanging here on this gallows...” The sky held fast to silence; something in me did not. Never shall I forget that night, the first night in camp, the night that turned my life into one long night. Never shall I forget that smoke. Never shall I forget the flames that consumed my faith. Never shall I forget. If I speak, it is for the ash. Never shall I forget.
