Oven! Three-seven-five! Rack in middle. Parchment on tray. Big bowl ready. Bigger bowl better. Gimmie baking. Crew duck. Heh! Two-and-three-quarter cups flour! Dump! Two teaspoons cream of tartar! Funny name. Still go in. One teaspoon baking soda! Half teaspoon salt! Whisk dry stuff— Fast-fast-fast! Whisk spin once! Whisk spin twice! Whisk leave hand— Still mix nice! Flour sack split! White cloud rise! Measuring cup roll out of sight! Dry mix ready. Gimmie precise. Pff-kah! Tkk-tkk—BUH-dum! Pff-pff-KSS! Duh-guh-DUM! Tikka-tikka—BRR-kah-tss! Buh-DUM! Kuh-tss! KAH! Pff-kah! Tkk-tkk—BUH-dum! Dukka-tss! Dukka-tss! BRRRAH-kah— DUM! ROASTY TOASTY! GIMMIE COOKIE! CRISP ON EDGE AND CENTER CHEWY! ROLL ROUND DOUGH! COAT ALL SIDE! THREE-SEVEN-FIVE! OVEN RIDE! ROASTY TOASTY! GIMMIE COOKIE! CINNAMON SUGAR! GIMMIE HUNGRY! One cup soft butter! Bowl go CLANG! One-and-half cups white sugar! Mixer go— BRRRRRANG! Beat till fluffy! Pale and light! Two or three minutes! Texture right! One egg! CRACK! Second egg! CRACK! Shell bounce once! Shell not come back! Two teaspoons vanilla! Smell real good. Gimmie taste little. Quality understood. Beat smooth! Mixer walking! Bowl shake! Crew start talking! Gimmie need rhythm. Mixer provide. Brrr-dikka, brrr-dikka—DUM-tss-tss! Wubba-kah! Wubba-kah! PFF-KAH! Drrr-drrr-drrr—CHUKKA-CHUKKA! BWOOM-kah-tss! BWOOM-kah-tss! Brrr-WUB! Tikka-KSS! Drrr-WUB! Tikka-KSS! Mixer sing— Gimmie louder! ROASTY TOASTY! GIMMIE COOKIE! CRISP ON EDGE AND CENTER CHEWY! BUTTER! SUGAR! EGG GO CRACK! GIMMIE MAKE RHYTHM— GUITARS HIT BACK! ROASTY TOASTY! GIMMIE COOKIE! CINNAMON SUGAR! GIMMIE HUNGRY! Dry mix into butter! Little at time! Fold and beat! Beat and rhyme! No flour streak! Dough turn thick! Do not overmix. Gimmie stop quick. Small bowl! Quarter cup sugar! One tablespoon cinnamon! Stir together! Round and round! Cinnamon puff up from ground! Scoop stand ready. Tray go BANG. Dough ball waiting. Good little gang. DOOM-kah! Tikka-tss! DOOM-doom-kah! Pff-RRRAH! Kuh-tss! Kuh-tss! DUGGA-digga-DUGGA-digga—BWOOM! Tss-kah! Tss-kah! DUM-DUM-DUM! DOOM-kah! Tikka-tss! BRRRAH-kah! Kuh-tss! Pff-tss! DUGGA-DUGGA! BWOOM! BWOOM! COOKIE! SCOOP! One-and-half tablespoons! ROLL! Round dough ball! COAT! Cinnamon sugar! TURN! Cover all! TRAY! Two inches apart! PRESS? NO! Leave round. Gimmie smart. [deep female goblin growl] OVEN! THREE! SEVEN! FIVE! BAKE EIGHT TO TEN TILL EDGES SET BUT CENTERS STILL SOFT INSIDE! ROASTY TOASTY! GIMMIE COOKIE! CRISP ON EDGE AND CENTER CHEWY! ROLL! COAT! TRAY! BAKE! EVERY COOKIE GIMMIE TAKE! THREE-SEVEN-FIVE! DOUGH GO IN! EIGHT TO TEN MINUTES— GIMMIE WIN! ROASTY TOASTY! GIMMIE COOKIE! CINNAMON SUGAR! GIMMIE HUNGRY! DING! Cool on tray five minutes. Then move to rack. Gimmie wait. One... Two... Enough. Hot. Worth it. Gimmie here good time. Cookie not long time. Heh-heh!
