Left your phone in the fridge next to yesterday’s pie, Asked why the Wi-Fi don’t reach the sky, Poured diesel in a lawnmower tank, Then blamed the mower when it sputtered and cranked. We’ve all had days where the brain clocks out, But buddy, tonight… yours took a different route. You’re a dumbass, bless your heart, Tried to fix a leak with duct tape and faith from the start, Ain’t mean, ain’t cruel, it’s just plain fact, When the shoe fits tight, well… wear it proud, partner, that’s that. Microwaved foil for a “sparkle effect,” Argued with a GPS you still ain’t left, Asked if fish get thirsty in the lake, Tried to high-five a cactus by mistake. We ain’t judging, we’ve all been there, But that thought train derailed somewhere back there. You’re a dumbass, in boots and jeans, Wave at your reflection like it’s someone you’ve seen, It ain’t a crime, it’s a state of mind, Sometimes common sense gets left behind. There’s book smart, street smart, and then there’s you, Running headfirst into what not to do, But hey, we laugh ‘cause we love you still, Lord knows this world needs comic relief and will. You’re a dumbass, say it loud, Put it on a T-shirt, wear it proud, Life’s too short to act high-class, Sometimes you’re wise, sometimes… you’re a dumbass. Now if you’re singin’ this and feelin’ attacked, Relax, friend… We’ve all been a dumbass at least once Some of us just made it a lifestyle.
