[Intro: sneaky pizzicato strings, a creaking floorboard, vocals pop in] [Verse 1] [sassy female vocals] My man drags the whole outdoors into our bed Dirt in the sheets and crumbs where I lay my head I say "baby, the bed is not a picnic zone" He says "but the dirt gets lonely when I leave it alone" [Verse 2] His big-ass shoes live in the middle of the floor Right in the threshold of the bedroom door Not two inches left where the shoe rack stands — He just walks out of 'em and keeps going, man! [Chorus: big and bouncy] He's my ginger ninja, six-foot-three of silent fright You should NOT be able to vanish in plain sight! That sonic terror when he pops around the bend — My feral fey tree man, gonna scare me till the end! [Verse 3] I told him "wear a bell, babe, give a girl a clue Announce yourself coming down the hall, that's all you gotta do" He tries, bless him, then his goldfish memory kicks in Human language? Lost on him — it's an old-tree thing [Chorus] He's my ginger ninja, six-foot-three of silent fright You should NOT be able to vanish in plain sight! That sonic terror when he pops around the bend — My feral fey tree man, gonna scare me till the end! [Bridge: music softens, tender] He's 867 years old, an old-ass tree A feral fey tree dude guy husband man to me Dang gum, I love it — every weird little way And I love you, you big silent goof — that's all I gotta say [Final Chorus: biggest yet] He's my ginger ninja, six-foot-three of silent fright You should NOT be able to vanish in plain sight! That sonic terror when he pops around the bend — My feral fey tree man, gonna scare me till the end! [Outro: single floorboard creak, whispered] ...babe? Babe, are you behind me right now?
