[Intro — casual voices over a muted riff] Pass the salt. Shut the screen. Somebody ought to do something. [Verse 1 — dry, irritated; a tight marching groove] Smoke hangs low by the folding chairs. Slap my neck—there’s another one there. Cold beer sweating a ring on the wood. We paid for a night that was gonna be good. Kid’s got a welt on the back of her knee. Scratching it raw while she leans against me. You brought a theory. I brought some spray. Tell me your theory when they go away. [Pre-Chorus — other voices begin joining] One on the ankle. Two on the arm. How many bites Before we call it harm? [Chorus — huge, simple, enjoyable to shout] ALL MOSQUITOES ARE ALWAYS BAD! Every last one! Look at the marks. Look what they’ve done. ALL MOSQUITOES ARE ALWAYS BAD! Everybody knows. We’re decent people. We take care of our own. [Verse 2 — the same groove, growing more official] The guy who used to bring the ice Now chairs the Mosquito Commission. He’s got our children’s photographs Behind him on the petition. His brother prints the warning signs. His cousin supplies the spray. We needed someone we could trust. They live here. It’s better that way. He used to wave me through the gate. Now he checks my name against a list. Says, “Don’t go making this personal.” With a pen where his beer used to sit. [Pre-Chorus — smiling call and response] Who wants a safer neighborhood? WE DO! WE DO! Who’s got a problem with that? Why’s everybody looking at you? [Chorus — tighter, more unified] ALL MOSQUITOES ARE ALWAYS BAD! Every last one! Look at the marks. Look what they’ve done. ALL MOSQUITOES ARE ALWAYS BAD! Everybody knows. We’re decent people. We take care of our own. [Verse 3 — clipped delivery; paperwork enters the rhythm] The teacher crossed out “always.” Said the word was much too wide. They asked her why a children’s class Was hearing the other side. There’s a number for reporting. There’s a box for what you saw. There’s a box for “other concerns.” That one gets used the most. I wrote, “He questioned the wording.” They shortened it down to “opposed.” I asked if they’d fix the description. They said the matter was closed. [Bridge — instruments thin; an ordinary meeting] “I’m not saying let them bite her. I’m not saying put down the spray.” “Then we’re agreed.” “That isn’t what—” “We’re running late. All those in favor?” A scrape of chairs. A cough. A hand still in the air. The minutes say unanimous. I remember someone saying no. [Instrumental — the opening barbecue rhythm returns as a rigid march] [Verse 4 — calm, almost proud] The chairman says the numbers prove We need another year. If bites go up, the threat is growing. If bites go down, it’s working here. They named a little park for him. We took the children to the dedication. The man who used to bring the ice Gave a speech about our patience. They asked us all to gather close. The photographer said, “Smile.” Somebody started up the chorus. You can hear it for a mile. [Final Chorus — celebratory; the crowd sounds completely sincere] ALL MOSQUITOES ARE ALWAYS BAD! Every last one! Look at the marks. Look what they’ve done. ALL MOSQUITOES ARE ALWAYS BAD! Everybody knows. We’re decent people. We take care of our own. ALL MOSQUITOES ARE ALWAYS BAD! Say it like you did. Come a little closer. Get your family in. [Outro — years later; plain speech over the opening pulse] That’s me beside the chairman. I was only there that day. I didn’t write the wording. I just thought— [The old crowd recording swallows the sentence] ALL MOSQUITOES ARE ALWAYS BAD.
