[Title: Trick or Treat Tonight!] [VERSE 1] On Halloween, VICKIE led us Past the BONFIRE burning bright. Dressed as A HILLBILLY WITCH, with a GREEN face, They marched us through the night. I wore A TUTU with PINK COWBOY BOOTS And packed A YETI COOLER for the sweets. We rode to NASHVILLE on A LAWN MOWER, To haunt the moonlit streets. A SEVEN-FOOT CLOWN waved us over, With a wicked, toothy grin. We tried to MOONWALK beside the gate, Then someone called us in! [CHORUS] Trick or treat in PINK COWBOY BOOTS, Come knocking at the door! Something SWEET, something SOUR, We’re coming back for more! We can handle WITCHES and VAMPIRES, We’ll laugh at any fright. But A ZOMBIE IN A SPEEDO? We draw the line! Trick or treat tonight! [VERSE 2] First, ROBERT answered, Dressed as A VAMPIRE in red. We picked TREAT; got PICKLED PIG’S FEET— “OH, HELL NO!” we said. Next, FRANCO wore AN ALIEN SUIT, With A RACCOON beneath one arm. We chose TRICK; got A SCREAMING GOAT— That set off every car alarm! [CHORUS] Trick or treat in PINK COWBOY BOOTS, Come knocking at the door! Something SWEET, something SOUR, We’re coming back for more! We can handle WITCHES and VAMPIRES, We’ll laugh at any fright. But A ZOMBIE IN A SPEEDO? We draw the line! Trick or treat tonight! [BRIDGE] Then JIM, dressed as A T-REX, Stepped out into the light. “Choose SNICKERS or I’LL GIVE YOU A WEDGIE! Which will it be tonight?” We picked TREAT; they passed us SNICKERS, Then pointed at the moon. “Now SHAKE YOUR BUTT!” They chanted, “BOO-GIE-WOOGIE-BOO!” And the fiddler struck a tune. [Absurd fiddle] [FINAL CHORUS] Trick or treat in PINK COWBOY BOOTS, Come knocking at the door! Something SWEET, something SOUR, We’re coming back for more! We can handle WITCHES and VAMPIRES, We’ll laugh at any fright. But A ZOMBIE IN A SPEEDO? We draw the line! Trick or treat tonight! [OUTRO — THE TWIST] Then MATT dropped his GHOST SHEET, And we all began to shake. Beneath it lurked a real WHERE WOLF— That costume wasn’t fake! My NOSE turned into JELL-O, It spread across my skin. That cursed SNICKERS had changed us all— The monsters were within! Now we haunt NASHVILLE each Halloween, Come knocking at your door. Give us WORMS, and we won’t TWERK! Unless you ask for more!
