[Intro – Whispered, Radio Static, Night-Vision Beeps] (whispers) Control to Claus… target acquired… Ho ho hold position… Silent night… loud house… move carefully. [Verse 1 – Rap, Cinematic, Storytelling] I ain’t just fat in a suit with a sack and a sleigh, I’m deep cover North Pole, CIA-HO-HO-A. All year long I’m collectin’ intel on the low, Cookies tracked, milk sampled, behavioral notes. Naughty or nice? Nah, that’s a cover story, I’m watchin’ door hinges, floorboards creaky. Who got alarms? Who got cats that snitch? Who got that one dog that don’t sleep an inch? Thermal goggles over Rudolph red, Infrared scan for the Wi-Fi threads. One wrong step and the staircase sings, Mission fail ‘cause of loose floor planks. [Pre-Chorus – Build, Whispered Ad-libs] Laser tripwire by the Christmas tree, Ring doorbell blinkin’ back at me. Hold your breath… don’t sneeze… don’t cough… That elf back home is runnin’ ops. [Chorus – Catchy, Call-and-Response, Festive] Silent night, but I’m wide awake, Black suit Santa, stealth snowflake. In and out ‘fore the dog dem bark, Drop the gifts then I ghost that yard. Silent night, yeah I’m on that grind, Santa see you when you close your blinds. Ho ho ho—but quiet though, Splinter Cell Claus, professional mode. [Verse 2 – Rap, Comedy Focus] Got in-laws sleepin’ on the couch downstairs, One snore louder than a bear with a flare. Uncle Dave passed out by the tree, Eggnog breath almost ended me. Avoid the toys, Lego landmines, One wrong step and it’s pain prime time. Cat starin’ like it know my soul, Judgin’ me hard in a Christmas bowl. Cookies baited—classic decoy, Milk skim tested (low-fat, avoid). Stockings hung like surveillance cams, One squeak and I abort the plan. [Break – Spoken, Mission Briefing, Humor] Note to self: Never underestimate a chihuahua… They are trained killers. [barking] [Chorus – Louder, Energy Up] Silent night, but I’m wide awake, Black suit Santa, stealth snowflake. In and out ‘fore the dog dem bark, Drop the gifts then I ghost that yard. Silent night, yeah I’m on that grind, Santa see you when you close your blinds. Ho ho ho—but quiet though, Splinter Cell Claus, professional mode. [Bridge – Half-Time, Cinematic, Funny] You think magic make me phase through walls? Nah—planning, charts, and protocol. Years of prep for one clean sweep, That’s why Christmas only lasts one sleep. [Verse 3 – Rap, Big Reveal Energy] I vanish fast with no trace found, Just wrapping paper on the ground. Parents swear that they heard a noise, Kids blame dreams, I call that poise. North Pole HQ, mission done, Elf squad cheer when I touch down. Another year, no evidence, Just joy, confusion, and innocence. [Outro – Whispered, Sleigh Bells Fade] (whispers) Ho ho ho… extraction complete… Merry Christmas… …stay frosty. [Fade Out – Sleigh Bells, Radio Static]
