[Verse] I'm here to sing a tale of woe, Of metrics, charts, and graphs, you know. A KPI kerfuffle, a numbers game, Where human contribution's put to shame. [Prechorus] Oh, the modern grind! [Chorus] KPI blues, got those KPI blues, Keep hold times short, but set customer service to snooze. KPI blues, got those KPI blues, No one counts the "thank you's!" [Verse 2] They clock my calls, they time my toil, And scrutinise my after-call. They missed the customer's grateful sigh, Just focused on the clock ticking by. [Chorus] KPI blues, got those KPI blues, Keep hold times short, but set customer service to snooze. No one counts the "thank you's!" [Bridge] Like Damocles' sword, HR's decree, Hangs over my weary head, you see. A judgment looming, sharp and cold, A story of numbers, poorly told. [instrumental break, trumpet playing the Chorus melody] [Verse 3] My customer feedback I adore, "why wasn't it told to me like that 5 calls before?" For that there's no numeric stat, sure makes you think, Numbers trumping people leads to drink! [Chorus] KPI blues, got those KPI blues, Keep hold times short, but set customer service to snooze. No one counts the "thank you's!" No one counts the "thank you's!
