[Intro] (Instrumental) [Verse 1] Nothin' ever (ever) changes in this store Feelin' so bored (bored), can't take it anymore I thought that I would lose my ever-lovin' soul Staring at the single-serving guacamole bowl The prices keep on climbing, and the portions get so small My spirit starts to wither by the kombucha wall My weekly shopping budget's just a memory, a ghost Trapped between the organic kale and artisanal toast I was drowning in a sea of full-price despair Then my neighbor leaned across the fence and whispered, "I was there..." [Pre-Chorus] He said, "Hey, you know that giant concrete box behind the mall? (Behind the mall!) Where the parking lot's a legend and the shopping carts are tall? (Carts are tall!) Well, I got myself a membership, it only took a pic And now my life is different, man, you gotta get there quick!" Since then I've been vibrating with a strange and wondrous hum (hum) My future's looking brighter, and my pantry won't be glum (glum) 'Cause I'm holding in my wallet now a sacred plastic key To a land of bulk-sized promise, a retail rhapsody! I can't wait! (Oh I) I can't wait! (Oh when) Will those automatic doors slide open and let me in? [Chorus 1] I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the (Cost) co I'm goin', really goin' to the Goin' (Cost) I'm goin' to the (Cost) oh yes, I'm goin' to the Wholesale Store! I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the (Cost) co I'm goin', really goin' to the Goin' (Cost) I'm goin' to the (Cost) oh yes, I'm goin' to the Wholesale Store! [Verse 2] With my laminated card, I strode right through the door Past the guy who draws a smiley face and asks for nothing more I grabbed a flatbed cart, 'cause I was thinking big that day Pushed it past the giant-screen TVs and Blu-ray display Guys in bright red vests are building mountains to the sky Pallets full of everything a human soul could buy There's a treasure hunt adventure 'round every single bend A lifetime supply of cashews, a gazebo for a friend And they're doing demonstrations for some fancy kind of mop There's a lady giving samples of a spicy sausage chop I tried a piece of cheese and then a little smoothie shot My lunch was totally covered before I'd even bought! I can't wait! (No I) I can't wait! (Oh when) Can I get to that back corner where the Kirkland legends begin? [Chorus 2] I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the (Cost) co I'm goin', really goin' to the Goin' (Cost) I'm goin' to the (Cost) oh yes, I'm goin' to the Wholesale Store! Where the Kirkland brand is trusted and the value is the law Got the greatest rotisserie chicken you ever saw! Goin' (Cost) I'm goin' to the (Cost) oh yes, I'm goin' to the Wholesale Store! [Deep Voice Spoken] Would you look at all this stuff! [Fast] They've got rotisserie chickens, forty-packs of bottled water, king-sized candy bars and tubs of almond butter Organic maple syrup, giant sacks of dog food, Kerrygold Pure Irish Butter, anything to fit your mood! They've got kayaks, leather sectionals, gazebos for your lawn, a twenty-pound bag of coffee to get you through the dawn! Praline pecans, pajama sets, a brand new set of tires, electric grand pianos and security system wires! A three-pound bag of walnuts and a tub of basil pesto, a bottle of French vodka that will surely pass the test-o! A two-pack of romaine hearts, a whole entire side of salmon, a twenty-four-pack of the finest craft-brewed beer you can imagine! They've got diamond rings for ten grand, a high-end gaming rig, a seven-year supply of trash bags (and they're really, really big!) A hydroponic garden and a self-inflating raft, a personal backyard sauna for your artisanal craft! They've got Wagyu beef from somewhere over in Japan, emergency food buckets for your apocalypse plan! They've got luggage sets and ukuleles, hearing aids and jeans, a pallet of baked beans and... A CASKET FOR YOUR FINAL SCENES! (instrumental) [Chorus 3] I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the (Cost) co I'm goin', really goin' to the Goin' (Cost) I'm goin' to the (Cost) oh yes, I'm goin' to the Wholesale Store! My cart is overflowing and my wallet's feeling grand Got a dollar-fifty hot dog and a soda in my hand! Goin' (Cost) I'm goin' to the (Cost) oh yes, I'm goin' to the Wholesale Store! [Outro] (instrumental)
