[Intro] [somber piano melody, atmospheric creaking sounds] Dear Ma, I'm scared. I hear you and Dad again. He sounds drunk. I hear you scream, then something falls. The way you beg him to stop. I'm sorry, Ma. I want to do something. I just don't know how. [Verse 1] [heavy boom-bap drums enter, distorted synth bass] Every night is the same, floorboards creak in the hall Heavy boots echo through the cracks in the wall I sit still, don't breathe, try to make myself small Like maybe if I don't move, it won't happen at all But it always does, I hear your voice, then it breaks, then it drops Then the silence hits harder than the sound of the knocks Palm flat on the door, feel the whole frame shake Like the house got a heartbeat every time it breaks [drums stop] And I just sit there. I just sit there. [Chorus] [orchestral strings swell, driving percussion] The handle turns! [cymbal crash] The handle turns! Yeah. [Verse 2] [bass and drums return] I start noticing things I ignored before Like how you stopped laughing the way you used to Or how you flinch at the smallest move Or how I memorized every step in that hall Which board creaks first before he hits the wall Every pause, every breath, every sound before the fall I told myself one day I'd do something, just not that day Never that day. [Chorus] [full orchestral arrangement] The handle turns! Dear Ma, I'm not a kid no more I hear the same excuses, same lies, same middle chain It never dies, I used to hide in the quiet Now the quiet's worse I won't stand there this time I won't. [Bridge] [distorted electric guitar enters] Now I'm older, but nothing's really changed Same walls, same night, same kind of pain Except now I see it clearer than I did back then And I know how stories like this always end Either you leave or you stay or you become what you hate And I've been standing at that line for days [Chorus] The handle turns! Tonight felt different, I don't know why Maybe it was the way you said my name Or the way it sounded like goodbye I didn't think, I didn't plan, I just moved Door came off the frame like it had something to prove And there you were, and there you were hurting And there I was. [Outro] Every memory stacking, every moment reacting If I don't end it now, it never stops happening If I don't do it now, I become him I didn't want to do this, I just wanted it to stop I close my eyes! [gunshot sound effect, sirens in the distance] Sirens in the distance, red and blue through broken glass I drop the piece, fall beside you Ma, look at me I learned what a man is the night I became one Hands up, voices shouting, room spinning Mama, I never meant to make you cry But watching him touch you like that, it was do or die The system failed us, so I made the choice The handle turns! The handle turns! The handle turns. [piano fades out]
