[Intro – catchy distorted guitar riff, driving punk drums] [Verse 1 – cheeky melodic female punk vocal] Eleven thirty, episode ends. Perfect place to stop. Brush my teeth, turn off the lights, responsible adult stuff. Then the bastard drops a twist in the final twenty seconds. Someone's dead. Someone's not. Someone's somebody's fucking brother. [Female vocal] Right. One more. Obviously. [Pre-Chorus – building melodic punk] Forty-five minutes. That's nothing. I'll still get plenty of sleep. Just one more episode. [Female vocal – confidently] Then absolutely fucking bed. [Chorus – big catchy melodic punk vocal] One more episode! Then I'm calling it a night! One more episode! I've got everything under control tonight! Just wanna see how this one ends— then I'll turn the bastard off! [Shout-sung] ONE MORE EPISODE! THAT'S IT! I FUCKING PROMISE! [Driving guitar riff] [Verse 2 – faster playful delivery] Twelve forty-eight. Okay. Not ideal. But tomorrow morning doesn't start for quite a while. Episode ends. Another cliffhanger. [Female vocal] Oh, fuck off. Who writes this shit? No sane human could stop there. This is manipulation. I'm the victim. Press play. Get comfortable. Maybe grab a snack. [Pause] This doesn't count as another episode. Technically it's the same viewing session. [Pre-Chorus] Work at nine. Alarm at seven. That's still... [Female vocal – calculating] Five— No. Six— Fuck it. Enough. [Chorus – bigger] One more episode! Then I'm calling it a night! One more episode! This decision is completely justified! Just wanna see who opened that door— then I'll turn the bastard off! [Shout-sung] ONE MORE EPISODE! THEN BED! DEFINITELY! [Instrumental – bright dirty guitar lead over driving bass] [Verse 3 – slightly tired but still upbeat] Two sixteen. Eyes feel weird. Room's gone cold. Leg fell asleep about an hour ago. Should go to bed. Really should. Instead I'm now emotionally invested in Carol. Didn't even like Carol three episodes ago. Now if Carol dies I'm gonna fucking riot. Phone at twelve percent. Water glass empty. Could fix both problems. [Female vocal] Can't. Opening credits finished. Too late now. [Chorus – rougher, sleepier but energetic] One more episode! Then I'm absolutely done! One more episode! Why the fuck is this still fun?! I've made mistakes. I recognise that. But we're committed now! [Shout-sung] ONE MORE EPISODE! AND THEN— [Brief stop] [Female vocal] Wait. What time is it? [Instrumental pause] [Bridge – bass and clean-ish guitar, tired vocal] Three fifty-two. [Pause] No. That's wrong. Phone must be— [Pause] Three fifty-three. [Female vocal] Shit. [Drums quietly return] Okay. Stop. Now. No excuses. Turn it off. Go to bed. Be an adult. [Streaming prompt implied by rhythmic pause] [Female vocal – offended] “Are you still watching?” [Long pause] Excuse me? [Band slams back] [Female vocal – increasingly indignant] Don't you fucking start. You've been feeding me these cliffhangers all night. You built this machine. You know what you're doing. And NOW you've got concerns? [Shouted] DON'T FUCKING JUDGE ME! [Final Verse – fast energetic punk vocal] YES I'M STILL WATCHING! THAT'S WHY YOU'RE ON! DON'T GET MORAL AT FOUR IN THE FUCKING MORNING! YOU AUTOPLAYED! I JUST EXISTED! LET'S NOT PRETEND THAT I FUCKING PICKED THIS! [Female vocal] Although technically I did press— [Shouted] NOT RELEVANT! [Final Chorus – huge melodic punk vocal] ONE MORE EPISODE! THEN I'M CALLING IT A NIGHT! ONE MORE EPISODE! THE SUN'S NOT— [Brief stop] [Birds implied by light guitar notes] [Female vocal] Are those fucking birds? [Band returns] ONE MORE EPISODE! FUCK IT! I'VE COME THIS FAR! Sleep is basically pointless now— [Shout-sung] MIGHT AS WELL FINISH THE FUCKING SERIES! [Final driving riff] [Outro – tired melodic female vocal] Five twenty-eight. Series finale. Credits roll. [Pause] Worth it. [Longer pause] [Female vocal] ...six out of ten. [Final guitar hit]
