[Intro – Faux Sweet Voice] You ever look at someone and just… …feel your spine recoil? [Verse 1 – 60 Fresh Icks] Don’t blow kisses to cops Don’t yell “yoink” when something drops Don’t say “plot armor” in real life Don’t quote SpongeBob mid-fight Don’t walk around barefoot at Walmart Don’t name your biceps “Bonk” and “Smart” Don’t flirt with a QR code Don’t call your ex “a side quest, yo” Don’t wear fingerless gloves at brunch Don’t do knuckle cracks mid-lunch Don’t vape and call it “mist mode” Don’t rhyme your Venmo notes Don’t say “tummy hurty” to your boss Don’t wear neon crocs with socks Don’t name your red flags “spice” Don’t air-hump during “Bohemian Rhapsody” twice Don’t say “uwu” while sober Don’t call your junk “the controller” Don’t grunt while eating fruit Don’t name your fish “legal dispute” Don’t bite string cheese like a psycho Don’t TikTok cry at the DMV, though Don’t say “boo thang” at funerals Don’t own Funko Pops as a couple goal Don’t call your AC “coldy-woldy” Don’t lift your shirt when you say “hold me” Don’t fake a limp for sympathy Don’t say “no cap” to a eulogy Don’t narrate football in Klingon Don’t call ramen “wavy brawn” Don’t slap the aux without taste Don’t quote Elon Musk post-haste Don’t floss in public (the dance or string) Don’t keep old fries in your phone case thing Don’t say “unclench, queen” to a stranger Don’t name your bruises “battle bangers” Don’t slap bread to check if it’s fresh Don’t call jazz “mental stretch” Don’t say “raw-doggin’ oxygen” in jest Don’t post feet pics in protest Don’t moan “oof” in the gym Don’t roleplay Starbucks like it’s The Sims Don’t walk pigeontoed on purpose Don’t yell “opp pack!” in churches Don’t dab at your therapist’s praise Don’t cosplay your childhood phase Don’t sniff your pits then nod Don’t wink at cops — that’s odd Don’t send TikToks that are you Don’t say “skrrt skrrt” in a drive-thru Don’t do slam poetry in line Don’t say “drip check” all the time [Hook – Pt. 4 Chorus Variation] ✦ I was this close to liking you, then boom — ✦ You hit me with that ick perfume Everything you do feels out of tune I flinch when you enter the room You ick me out — like, vibes gone flat Your aura’s giving “I steal hats” I’d rather date a traffic cone Than hear your “Rizz God” tone [Verse 2 – 60 More Icks] Don’t hiss at pigeons for clout Don’t keep ketchup in your pouch Don’t “boop” people without warning Don’t call sunrises “sky spawnings” Don’t karaoke when no one asked Don’t rehearse your pickup lines in a flask Don’t say “Daddy chill” to a waiter Don’t paint abs onto paper Don’t add “-izzle” to every word Don’t call your hoodie your “emotional herd” Don’t fake yawn to wrap your arm Don’t call honks “car farts with charm” Don’t giggle at your own burps Don’t comment “slay” on your own thirst Don’t say “I identify as tired” Don’t name your air fryer “The Fire Squire” Don’t do pushups before kisses Don’t say “my vibe is just vicious” Don’t put ketchup on Oreos Don’t moan during pizza rolls Don’t tag yourself as “mommy” in memes Don’t whisper “this is giving” to inanimate things Don’t name your belly “the pod” Don’t wear anime suits to prom Don’t snap your gum like percussion Don’t whisper “yummers” mid-discussion Don’t claim “she’s my twin fr” When it’s your dog in the pic — sir?? Don’t reenact fights at Applebee’s Don’t purr when you’re nervous — please Don’t brag about your “hogwarts house arc” Don’t call your hangover a “spark” Don’t fake cry at concerts Don’t name your sleep paralysis “Kurt” Don’t own swords for “vibes” Don’t say “baddie mode activated” mid-hi Don’t gargle after soda Don’t smell books too hard Don’t spell “gnarly” with a G at the start Don’t call your fists “regret & karma” Don’t blame your rage on a chakra Don’t pose in front of urinals Don’t bring your vape to a funeral Don’t quote “Twilight” in debates Don’t ask “can I get a lil bite?” on dates Don’t call your legs “power rods” Don’t name your savings “dolla squads” [Outro – Whisper-Rap Energy] Ick. Gone. Blocked. And if I ever see you doing that TikTok dance in crocs again? Immediate jail.
