[Verse 1] East Jabib High School graduates, You've finally reached the day, You're standing at the starting line With choices left to make. Some of you will go to college, Some of you will learn a trade, Some might join the Marine Core And get your asses— ...EDUCATED. That's what I meant to say. Life will knock you down sometimes, That's something you should know, So get your f— ...FEET beneath you, And get back up and go. [Pre-Chorus] Choose your words, Keep it clean, There's families in the crowd, I've been specifically instructed What I'm not allowed— To say. Fiddlesticks. This might be difficult. [Chorus] GO OUT AND TAKE YOUR SHOT! Give this world every gosh-darn thing you've got! When life kicks your— BUTT! Get back up and make a stand! Don't let some son of a— BISCUIT! Tell you that you can't! Stand up tall, make yourself proud, And always give a— DARN! East Jabib, go kick some— BUTT! ...Nailed it. [Verse 2] You'll meet some difficult people As you're making your own way, Some mother— ...LOVING PEOPLE Who'll have plenty they can say. They'll tell you that you're worthless, That your dreams don't mean— JACK SQUAT. You look those cotton-headed Nincompoops right in the eye, And prove they're freaking wrong! When everything goes straight to heck, And every gosh-darn plan goes south, You improvise, adapt, overcome— And watch your flipping mouth. [Pre-Chorus] Fiddlesticks, fudge and baloney, Gosh darn, heck and shoot, Son of a biscuit, flipping ding-dong— I've still got substitutes! The English language offers Plenty words that I can use. Mother-fudging— ...MARMALADE. I'm running out of those too. [Chorus] GO OUT AND TAKE YOUR SHOT! Give this world every gosh-darn thing you've got! When life kicks your— BUTT! Get back up and make a stand! Don't let some son of a— BISCUIT! Tell you that you can't! Stand up tall, make yourself proud, And always give a— DARN! East Jabib, go kick some— BUTT! [Verse 3] Now maybe college isn't The direction you should choose, Perhaps you'd like adventure— I've got interesting news. We'll give you food and housing, Teach you how to shoot and run, Build some freaking character— And maybe have some fun. Travel to exotic places, Meet exotic people, kill them— ... I MEAN FREE THEM! Gosh darn it. We'll teach you discipline and honor, How to lead and overcome, How to keep your freaking head When everybody else has none. You'll crawl through mud, you'll climb some hills, You'll learn to shoot some guns— Wait. I CAN SAY “GUNS.” Well, fiddle-freaking-sticks. NOW I'M HAVING FUN! [Bridge] When life becomes a poop parade And everything is toast, When some flipping mother— HUBBARD Has completely lost their post, You improvise! Adapt! Overcome! You freaking carry on! Grab that bull right by the horns And show that son of a— GUN! Exactly who you are! HOLY— ...MOLY! Almost there. [Final Chorus] GO OUT AND TAKE YOUR SHOT! Give this world every gosh-darn thing you've got! When life kicks your— BUTT! Get back up and make a stand! Don't let some son of a— BISCUIT! Tell you that you can't! Your whole darn life's ahead of you, So make your families proud! East Jabib High School graduates— GO KICK SOME SERIOUS BUTT! [Outro] Congratulations, graduates, Go find the path that's right, And if you're still unsure what's next, I'll be outside tonight. Look for the Dress Blues by the door, Come see what we can do, The Marine Core needs good people— And I need three of... ...you. [Pause] Made the whole gosh-darn speech. Didn't swear once. Fuckin' nailed it [Long pause] FUCK!
