Alright. Everyone comfortable? Good… Let’s begin. I built the world before you woke, named the gods, then slit their throats, every map you think you trust was folded once too many times on purpose. Your backstory? I skimmed it. Your trauma? Canon now. I don’t railroad, I remove the brakes and ask why you’re screaming so loud. I don’t cheat, I reinterpret I gave you every warning sign That the dice will betray you tonight Roll for mercy, DC impossible, fate’s already penciled in. I smile when the table goes quiet and someone asks, “Wait… can I still win?” I don’t kill you, I teach you, with consequences sharp and slow. You wanted stakes? I salted the earth before you rolled. Every door you didn’t open had something worse behind it. Every NPC you trusted was paid in advance to lie. I let you plan for forty minutes then changed one verb in the spell, because hope tastes better right before it fails. I don’t cheat, I reinterpret I gave you every warning sign That the dice will betray you tonight Roll for mercy, DC impossible, the gods are watching me. I don’t fudge dice, I tilt realities until chance begs forgiveness on its knees. You wanted chaos… here’s the thesis, written in blood-red ink: Actions matter. Survival is optional. And I remember everything. YOU CAN CERTAINLY TRY… Roll for mercy, DC impossible, no inspiration left to spend. The real boss fight was trusting me to want this story to end. Fade to black. Pack your dice. Same time next week. I’ll be ready. …Oh. And mark exhaustion.
