[Verse 1] Back in the lair with the gold banana chair I give my commands and they all just stare I said "Bring the ray," and they bring a tray Full of cold soup and a slice of cake One minion slipped on the cake by mistake Landed by the bombs and nearly caused doomsday I facepalm hard, patience wears thin I need better henchmen but where to begin? I need a crew, but the crew needs me For every small job, mistakes - they make three So I pace that floor twitching with anger If you want it done right, you can't trust a stranger [Pre-Chorus] Can't trust them with a map Can't trust them with a scam Can't trust them with weapons Or my domination plans So I grit my teeth And I wring my hands If I can't trust my minions Then what choice do I have? [Chorus] The Real D-O-K I do it my way The Real D-O-K Get out the way If I want it done right I gotta do it myself The Real D-O-K Nobody else [Verse 2] So I cloned myself in a humming green tank Pressed ten little buttons, then I stepped back and wait Out walked me, then me, then me again Same fire in their eyes, same sinister grin One clone said, "Boss, we got this." I though "At LAST!" But then he slipped on banana peels, they all started to laugh One stole my goggles and wore them like a hat Another yelled "science!" and set fire to my lab One tried to threaten the guards with a spoon One tried to flip the switch clearly marked doom They all had my swagger, my spite, my teeth But none had the sense I needed to see Now there's twelve of me, and I'm so mad it's criminal 'Cause every last copy thinks he's the original [Pre-Chorus] Can't trust them with a map Can't trust them with a scam Can't trust them with weapons Or my domination plans So I crack my knuckles And I take the wheel If you want the job done You all know the deal [Chorus] The Real D-O-K I do it my way The Real D-O-K Get out the way If I want it done right I gotta do it myself The Real D-O-K Nobody else [Bridge] Then clone me one starts preachin' peace Clone me two wants juice and cheese Clone me three keeps callin' me "bro" Clone me four in the ceiling, hangin' by his toes I wanted soldiers, to fight heroes I wanted minions, I got weirdos I wanted help, I got a headache parade Every copy of me was an utter mistake Now the lair looks like a bomb went off And there's a bunch of bad Doks that all lost the plot So I smash the switch, let the tanks all hiss If you need a real villain, don't do none of this [Final Chorus] The Real D-O-K I do it my way The Real D-O-K Get out the way If I want it done right I gotta do it myself The Real D-O-K Nobody else [Outro] One me, one crown One plan, one sound No more clone-town I'm the real D-O-K now (one real D-O-K) (one real D-O-K) Wait, if you're the real dock, who am I
