Uncle Rick’s Discount Survival Bunker

country rock, comedy, baritone male vocals

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[Intro]
[bright acoustic guitar strumming, clean electric guitar fills]

[Verse 1]
[spoken baritone male vocals]
The economy is confusing. [acoustic guitar chord change]
The weather is angry. [acoustic guitar chord change]
And your neighbor just built a ham radio tower for no reason. [acoustic guitar chord change]
That is why you need... Uncle Rick's Discount Survival Bunker!

[Chorus]
[full band enters, driving drums, melodic vocals]
Come on down! Do not wait around!
When society falls apart, we still got deals in town!
Uncle Rick's, where the shelves stay stocked!
Even when the sky turns green and the highways lock!

[Verse 2]
[spoken vocals, bass and drums continue]
Located between the vape shop and the abandoned taxidermy outlet mall off Highway 9, we got: canned beans by the pallet, military surplus lawn chairs, gas masks that smell slightly used, twelve-foot garden gnomes, and enough duct tape to emotionally repair a marriage. Randy, stop attacking customers!

[Chorus]
[melodic vocals]
Come on down! Do not wait around!
When society falls apart, we still got deals in town!
Uncle Rick's, where the shelves stay stocked!
Even when the sky turns green and the highways lock!

[Bridge]
[spoken vocals]
Need protection from economic collapse, suspicious fog, solar flares, or your cousin Trevor? Then try the new Doomsday Date Night Package! Includes: two freeze-dried cheeseburgers, one hand-crank flashlight, and a complimentary machete engraved with "Live, Laugh, Lockdown." Mention promo code "The Sky is Lying" for fifteen percent off Arnie's ponchos and tactical beef jerky!

[Guitar Solo]
[overdriven electric guitar solo, blues-rock style]

[Outro]
[melodic vocals]
Uncle Rick is not responsible for raccoon uprisings, bunker divorces, gas station kratom incidents, or prophetic dreams involving Randy!
Uncle Rick's! Do not be late!
When the satellites fall from outer space!
Uncle Rick's! Survive in style!
Free canned peaches every third Tuesday while supplies last!
[spoken]
Uncle Rick's Discount Survival Bunker. If civilization survives, we will honestly be... kind of surprised.
[final drum hit and guitar ring out]

2146/7500

[Intro] [bright acoustic guitar strumming, clean electric guitar fills] [Verse 1] [spoken baritone male vocals] The economy is confusing. [acoustic guitar chord change] The weather is angry. [acoustic guitar chord change] And your neighbor just built a ham radio tower for no reason. [acoustic guitar chord change] That is why you need... Uncle Rick's Discount Survival Bunker! [Chorus] [full band enters, driving drums, melodic vocals] Come on down! Do not wait around! When society falls apart, we still got deals in town! Uncle Rick's, where the shelves stay stocked! Even when the sky turns green and the highways lock! [Verse 2] [spoken vocals, bass and drums continue] Located between the vape shop and the abandoned taxidermy outlet mall off Highway 9, we got: canned beans by the pallet, military surplus lawn chairs, gas masks that smell slightly used, twelve-foot garden gnomes, and enough duct tape to emotionally repair a marriage. Randy, stop attacking customers! [Chorus] [melodic vocals] Come on down! Do not wait around! When society falls apart, we still got deals in town! Uncle Rick's, where the shelves stay stocked! Even when the sky turns green and the highways lock! [Bridge] [spoken vocals] Need protection from economic collapse, suspicious fog, solar flares, or your cousin Trevor? Then try the new Doomsday Date Night Package! Includes: two freeze-dried cheeseburgers, one hand-crank flashlight, and a complimentary machete engraved with "Live, Laugh, Lockdown." Mention promo code "The Sky is Lying" for fifteen percent off Arnie's ponchos and tactical beef jerky! [Guitar Solo] [overdriven electric guitar solo, blues-rock style] [Outro] [melodic vocals] Uncle Rick is not responsible for raccoon uprisings, bunker divorces, gas station kratom incidents, or prophetic dreams involving Randy! Uncle Rick's! Do not be late! When the satellites fall from outer space! Uncle Rick's! Survive in style! Free canned peaches every third Tuesday while supplies last! [spoken] Uncle Rick's Discount Survival Bunker. If civilization survives, we will honestly be... kind of surprised. [final drum hit and guitar ring out]

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