[Verse 1] I lit a match to my best intentions, Now I’m sipping whiskey on the bathroom floor. Chandelier of shattered glass reflections— Regret’s a stain I can’t scrub off anymore. I texted my ex at 2 a.m. again, Autocorrect turned “miss you” to “mistake.” Guess I’m the punchline in a joke I wrote, And the laughter’s limp as a knockoff note. [Pre-Chorus] I majored in almost, minored in denial, My heart’s a scratched-up mixtape stuck on repeat. Said “I’m okay” with my practiced smile, Drowning in the echo of my own defeat. [Chorus] Regret is all that’s left of me, A trophy shelf of “what the hell was I thinking?” I’m dancing on the ashes of my dignity, In a prom dress on fire just for the feeling. Oh, I checked into love, but I can’t check out— Last call at the Heartbreak Hotel, and I’m the fool Who keeps ordering rounds of “I’m sorry” shots, But the bar’s closed, and I’m still playing cruel. [Verse 2] My rebound’s crying in the Uber ride, I told him, “Darling, you’re just verse two.” Love’s a ghost that curls up by my side, And I’m the clown still shouting, “Boo!” I’ve got a knack for burning bridges, Then I roast marshmallows on the wreckage. “I’m over it!” I shout… to my cat, Mr. Whiskers, While I whisper sweet nothings to emotional baggage. [Pre-Chorus] I majored in almost, minored in denial, My heart’s a scratched-up mixtape stuck on repeat. Said “I’m okay” with my practiced smile, Drowning in the echo of my own defeat. [Chorus] Regret is all that’s left of me, A trophy shelf of “what the hell was I thinking?” I’m dancing on the ashes of my dignity, In a prom dress on fire just for the feeling. Oh, I checked into love, but I can’t check out— Last call at the Heartbreak Hotel, and I’m the fool Who keeps ordering rounds of “I’m sorry” shots, But the bar’s closed, and I’m still playing cruel. [Verse 3] Tried to flirt with karma at a dive bar arcade, But the claw machine stole my soul and stayed. Got a tattoo that says Live, Laugh, Lie, Now it’s bleeding Comic Sans as I wave goodbye. My friends chant, “You’re a iconic disaster!” While I Photoshop joy into my morning-after. Posted a sunset, caption: “Feeling brand new!” Then cried in the drive-thru, drowning fries in déjà vu. [Bridge] Let’s toast to the maybes, the could’ve-been dreams— My résumé reads “Queen of unraveling seams.” I carved your name in a birthday cake, Then blew out the candles for old time’s sake. I’M A BEAUTIFUL DISASTER IN CONVERSE HIGH TOPS, A LOVE NOTE LOST IN A SPAM BOX DROP! I WEAR MY HEART TILL IT FRAYS AT THE EDGES, STAINED WITH REGRET AND BAD LOVE PLEDGES! [Final Chorus] Regret is all that’s left of me, A karaoke dirge in a tragic key. I’ll slow-mo crash my Cadillac of dreams, While the crowd claps for my gasoline screams. Oh, I’m the caution tape wrapped ’round a spark— Last call at the Heartbreak Hotel, after dark. Too bitter to laugh, too burnt to pretend, Just a neon sign blinking, “This is the end.” (Yikes, girl… yikes.) [Outro] I’ll write your name in lipstick on the mirror, Then wipe it clean with my I’m-a-strong-independent tears. The queen of almosts, the empress of fears, Regret’s my crown… it’s been collecting dust for years.
