[Intro – Spoken] I would like to start by saying… I was very clear. Extremely clear. Suspiciously clear. I said… no pickles. But… [Verse 1 – Talk-Sing] Opened up the wrapper slow Took a look and there they were Little green circles of betrayal Sitting on my burger bun I specifically requested This exact scenario not happen And yet here we are again In this nightmare I imagined [Pre-Chorus] I could scrape them off, that’s true But the taste is soaked clear through There is nothing I can do [Spoken:] The damage is permanent [Chorus – Big Dramatic] PICKLES! I SAID NO PICKLES! THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOR! PICKLES! WHY’S IT ALWAYS PICKLES?! NOW MY WHOLE MEAL TASTES LIKE FAILURE! [GANG VOCALS:] (NO PICKLES!) (NO PICKLES!) (NO PICKLES!) [Verse 2 – Talk-Sing] Maybe it was just a mistake Maybe they were in a rush But my order said “NO PICKLES” In like, very clear font Do they do this just for fun Do they do it just because Do they laugh in the back While they sabotage my lunch [Chorus] PICKLES! THIS IS A DISASTER! I CAN TASTE THEM EVEN AFTER! PICKLES! THIS IS A FACTOR! THIS HAS RUINED EVERYTHING THAT MATTERS! [GANG VOCALS:] Scrape them off! (NO!) Send it back! (NO!) I’m too shy! (YEAH!) [Bridge – Spoken Dramatic Monologue] I don’t want to be dramatic. But I did say no pickles. And someone… somewhere… Looked at that order… And put pickles on it anyway. So now I have to decide… Do I scrape them off… And live with the essence of pickles… Or do I go back up to the counter… And talk to a human being… …Absolutely not. [Final Chorus – Biggest] PICKLES! THEY’RE EVERYWHERE! I CAN SMELL THEM IN THE AIR! PICKLES! THIS ISN’T FAIR! I ASKED FOR NONE AND STILL THEY'RE THERE! [GANG VOCALS:] NO PICKLES! NO PICKLES! NO PICKLES! [Outro – Spoken] Next time… I’m checking the bag before I leave.
