[Intro: one long 808 boom, then the drum machine] Blue lights in the mirror at a quarter to three Officer, before you say a word, let me say it for me [Verse 1] Yes, I did a hundred thirty-two in a forty-five Yes, the tag expired at the end of July Yes, the license says I'm six foot one and I'm five foot nine Yes, the tint's illegal, and the blinker's been broke since I was twenty-five Yes, I rolled the stop sign on the causeway, twice, both times Yes, the bass in the trunk is a crime in three states and I'm proud of it, fine Officer clicking that pen like the pen gon' help I confess so fast you can't spell it yourself Write it down, ma'am, I'm saving you the time I'm the only man alive who ever read you his rights [Hook] You set a speed trap out on ninety-five I confessed so fast that your pen ain't survive Go ahead and write, ma'am, take your time The speed was the trap, and the trap was mine [Verse 2] Ninety-nine, I told my mama I was at the library, lied Two thousand, ate a grape at the grocery, never paid for the ride Two-oh-four, my cousin's wedding, I was the one that took the cake Not a slice, the whole thing, put it in the trunk and drove to the lake Two-oh-nine, I told a girl I was a pilot, I'm afraid of heights Twenty-twelve, I sang her song at karaoke and I sang it right She's on page four, I'm on charge number sixty-two Her hand cramping up, and I ain't even halfway through Backup pulls up, and I confess to him too Now there's two pens going, and I'm lapping the crew [Hook] You set a speed trap out on ninety-five I confessed so fast that your pen ain't survive Go ahead and write, ma'am, take your time The speed was the trap, and the trap was mine [Verse 3] Quarter to four, and the pen runs dry She shakes it, she licks it, she looks to the sky I said, here, use mine, it's a good one, it's quick I'll fill it out for you, I know how to spell every trick Wrote the date, wrote the charge, wrote a hundred thirty-two Wrote the fine, wrote my name, wrote a little thank you Signed it like a contract, handed it back across the line She said, slow down, son, I said, ma'am, that's mine [Bridge: drum machine and snare only] Can't slow down, I was born at this speed Came out confessing, doctor couldn't keep up with me [Final Hook: the 808 slides down an octave under the last word] You set a speed trap out on ninety-five I confessed so fast that your pen ain't survive You came here to catch me, but you lost track of time The speed was the trap, and the ticket was mine [Outro: 808 and snare ride it out] Paid it by the morning with the cash from the show Officer bought a ticket for the next one, front row [End]
