[Big Band Intro] [Trombone Stab] [Kazoo Flourish] [Verse 1 - Tazar, deep guttural growling orc-monster voice, raspy and booming, big brassy swing, sincere] Sunè herself put fire in my chest, Told me "Tazar, go be your very best," So I rage in the woods, and I bless the weak, And I ALSO work the register Tuesday through Friday, freak! [Spoken - Ossir, high-pitched squeaky excitable childlike voice, flat and exhausted] I liberated an entire CITY from a ABOMINATION this week. [Spoken - Tazar, deep guttural growling orc-monster voice] And I got employee of the month! [Spoken - Ossir, high-pitched squeaky voice, deadpan] ...I'm happy for you. [Spoken - Mephala, sultry breathy diva voice, bratty and done] I have had SEVENTEEN marriage proposals since Tuesday and I would trade every single one for eight consecutive hours of sleep. [Chorus - Full Ensemble, Big Horns, Chorus Line Stomp] He's the king, the king, the king of the fry line! Bear spirit in his soul but a hairnet on his mind! Got a warhammer at home and a name tag on his chest, And somehow — SOMEHOW — this man has never looked more blessed! (King of the fry line! King of the fry line!) [Verse 2 - Ossir, high-pitched squeaky excitable voice, weary folk-hero swing] I've slain a hag, I've freed a town, I've carried orphans on my back, I never once put 'em down — And STILL I gotta hear him say, with that big dumb grin, "Ossir, you should try the fryer, it's cheaper than therapy, come on in!" [Spoken - Tazar, deep guttural growling orc-monster voice] IT REALLY IS THOUGH. [Verse - Mephala, sultry breathy diva voice, glamorous and depleted] Every tavern wants a piece of me, every bard writes me a tragic reprise, but nobody — nobody — asks if I'm okay, they just want the hips, they never want the sighs. [Spoken - Tazar, deep guttural growling voice, gentle] I ask if you're okay. [Spoken - Mephala, sultry breathy diva voice, caught off guard, softening] ...I know, Taz. You're the only one who does. [Bridge - Tazar, deep guttural growling voice softened, slow, sincere, Rainbow Connection style, strings swell] See, my brother saves the realm and my sister holds the room, They carry every kingdom's hope on shoulders built for doom — But me, I found a corner of the world that's simple, small, Where the fryer timer dings and NOBODY needs me to be tall. That's not nothing. That's not less. A hero needs a register where he doesn't have to guess. [Spoken - Ossir, high-pitched squeaky voice, softening, genuinely moved] ...Huh. Okay. That's — actually that's real nice, Taz. [Spoken - Mephala, sultry breathy diva voice, bratty] Don't cry, don't cry, I did NOT do my makeup for crying— [Spoken - Ossir, high-pitched squeaky voice] Too late, I'm crying— [Final Chorus - Full Ensemble, Huge, Chaotic, Chorus Line Kick] He's the king, the king, the king of the fry line! Ossir's still a hero but he's clocking overtime! Mephala's exhausted but she's smiling now for real, 'Cause the Silverleafs stick together — that's the family Big Meal! KING! OF! THE! FRY! LIIIIINE! [Spoken - Tazar, deep guttural growling voice, warm, over fading brass] ...Family discount's twenty percent. Sunè would want that. [Spoken - Mephala, sultry breathy diva voice, bratty] Sunè would want a NAP. [Spoken - Ossir, high-pitched squeaky voice] Give her the fries, Taz. [Outro - Brass Fade, Kazoo Wail]
