[Verse 1] I need a song so wide It blasts from side to side From Buenos Aires to the moon I want the whole damn globe to swoon A hook so dumb it bites With glitter, smoke, and tights A lyric like a busted joke That lands so bad it makes folks choke [Pre-Chorus] Oh, make it cheap Make it cling Like gum on a plastic ring Give me cheese Give me pain Let it haunt the world again [Chorus] Broadcast the cheese Broadcast the cheese Make the whole damn planet sneeze Broadcast the cheese Broadcast the cheese I want bad taste on every breeze [Verse 2] I’ll put a trumpet in my sleeve And beg the whales to believe Then rhyme “heart” with “art” and “dream” Like I’m the king of a greasepaint scheme A cheesy grin, a velvet lie A wink so huge it bruises my eye If it’s too smooth, it’s just no fun I need a trainwreck, baby, done [Pre-Chorus] Oh, make it loud Make it lame Put my ego in a frame Give me brass Give me gloss Let the dignity get lost [Chorus] Broadcast the cheese Broadcast the cheese Make the whole damn planet sneeze Broadcast the cheese Broadcast the cheese I want bad taste on every breeze [Bridge] If the rhyme is trash, I’m thrilled If the crowd goes “please be killed” I’ll bow, “merci,” then take my pay And croon that nonsense anyway [Final Chorus] Broadcast the cheese Broadcast the cheese Make the whole damn planet sneeze Broadcast the cheese Broadcast the cheese One more corny hit, please, please, please [Outro] Baby, that’s the dream A worldwide sham A glorious, awful, shameless jam
