[Intro – County fair crowd roaring] [Engines rumbling] [Announcer – Male, booming, raspy, hyper-energetic derby announcer] LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! BOYS AND GIRLS! WELCOME TO THE BIGGEST TRACTOR PULL THIS SIDE OF THE COUNTY LINE! [Crowd cheers] [Announcer] WE'VE GOT DIESEL! WE'VE GOT HORSEPOWER! WE'VE GOT MUD! AND SO MANY DRIVERS WANTED IN ON THE ACTION, WE HAD TO OPEN TWO LANES! [Crowd erupts] [Announcer] TWO LANES! TWO TRACTORS! TWO DRIVERS! ONE PULL! [Rowdy – Male, upbeat, confident, goofy] That's what I'm talking about! [Bammer – Male, deep, practical, dry] You said this was going to be relaxing. [Rowdy] It is! [Benny – Male, energetic, cheerful] I'm relaxed! [Bammer] You're standing next to two running diesel engines. [Benny] Exactly! [Music kicks in] [Announcer] NOW LET'S MEET OUR COMPETITORS! IN LANE ONE! REPRESENTING AISLE BLUE! WEARING THE REQUIRED COMPETITION SAFETY GEAR! AND COVERED IN MORE SPONSORS THAN A COUNTY FAIR BUMPER STICKER! THE MAN! THE MYTH! THE GUY WHO APPARENTLY PLANNED THIS ENTIRE VACATION! CROSSWIRE! [Crowd cheers] [Crosswire – Male, calm, dry, deadpan] Morning. [Rowdy] COME ON, CROSSWIRE! [Announcer] FORKLIFT YACHT CLUB! AISLE BLUE! CLAW PARADISE! FIVE CLAW KNIVES AND GOODS! LAIZER AIR! HAIR OF THE DAWG! THE TUNA CO.! SURF BREAKER! PURRFECT WAVES! AND THE RUSTY DECK! [Benny] How many sponsors does he have? [Bammer] Apparently enough. [Crosswire] They're all legitimate. [Rowdy] You said that last night. [Crosswire] Because they are. [Announcer] AND NOW! IN LANE TWO! A NAME THAT NEEDS NO INTRODUCTION AROUND HERE! A DRIVER FAMOUS FOR PUSHING EVERY ENGINE HE TOUCHES STRAIGHT TO THE LIMIT! AND SOMETIMES— [Crowd laughs] PAST IT! THE MAN WHO EARNED HIS NAME BY LIVING AT THE REDLINE! REDLINE! [Crowd erupts] [Redline – Male, confident, competitive, controlled] Let's go. [Rowdy] Who is that? [Bammer] I don't know. [Benny] He's famous? [Announcer] FAMOUS? LAST YEAR HE DESTROYED THREE ENGINES ON THIS TRACK! THREE! [Crowd reacts] [Announcer] SO THIS YEAR, THE ORGANIZERS INSTALLED A SAFETY LIMITER! [Redline] I hate that thing. [Announcer] WE KNOW! [Crowd laughs] [Rowdy] Crosswire, you know him? [Crosswire] No. [Bammer] Then why does he look like he knows you? [Crosswire] He doesn't. [Announcer] CROSSWIRE! REDLINE! TWO LANES! TWO TRACTORS! LET'S PULL! [Engines rev] [Announcer] THREE! TWO! ONE! PULL! [Two tractors roar] [Music explodes] [Rowdy] COME ON, CROSSWIRE! [Benny] PULL! [Bammer] KEEP IT STRAIGHT! [Announcer] AND THEY'RE OFF! CROSSWIRE IS MOVING! REDLINE IS MOVING! THE SLED IS GETTING HEAVIER! [Crowd cheers] [Rowdy] LOOK AT HIM! [Benny] CROSSWIRE'S AHEAD! [Announcer] CROSSWIRE HAS THE LEAD! HE'S DIGGING IN! HE'S FINDING TRACTION! AND REDLINE IS COMING! [Engine roars] [Bammer] There he goes. [Rowdy] He's catching him! [Announcer] REDLINE IS CLOSING THE GAP! HE'S PUSHING HARDER! HE'S ASKING THAT ENGINE FOR EVERYTHING IT'S GOT! [Redline] Come on! [Engine screams] [Benny] He's catching Crosswire! [Rowdy] COME ON! [Announcer] CROSSWIRE IS FADING! REDLINE IS COMING FAST! THE CROWD IS ON ITS FEET! [Crosswire] Come on. [Announcer] REDLINE IS ALMOST THERE! HE'S PAST THE LIMIT! HE'S— [Engine suddenly cuts] [Beat] [Rowdy] What happened? [Benny] Did he break? [Bammer] Wait. [Announcer] THE LIMITER! THE REDLINE LIMITER JUST KICKED IN! [Crowd erupts] [Announcer] THE SAFETY SYSTEM HAS CUT THE ENGINE BACK! THE SAME SAFETY SYSTEM THEY INSTALLED AFTER REDLINE DESTROYED THREE ENGINES RIGHT HERE LAST YEAR! [Redline] I hate that thing. [Rowdy] CROSSWIRE! [Crosswire] Still pulling. [Engine roars] [Announcer] CROSSWIRE IS MOVING! REDLINE IS LIMITED! CROSSWIRE IS COMING DOWN THE FINAL STRETCH! [Crowd screams] [Benny] GO! [Bammer] KEEP GOING! [Rowdy] PULL! [Engine strains] [Announcer] CROSSWIRE IS ACROSS! [Crowd erupts] [Music hits] [Announcer] CROSSWIRE TAKES THE FIRST RUN! CROSSWIRE WINS! [Crowd cheers] [Rowdy] YES! [Benny] WE WON! [Bammer] You won. [Rowdy] WE WON! [Crosswire] I told you. [Bammer] You didn't tell us anything. [Rowdy] He had a plan. [Benny] He always has a plan. [Redline] Nice pull. [Crosswire] You too. [Redline] That limiter's garbage. [Crosswire] Probably saved your engine. [Redline] That's why I hate it. [Beat] [Announcer] LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! CROSSWIRE TAKES THE FIRST RUN! BUT DON'T GO ANYWHERE! REDLINE IS STILL IN THE COMPETITION! AND IF YOU KNOW REDLINE— [Crowd cheers] [Announcer] YOU KNOW HE'S NOT DONE YET! [Redline] Definitely not. [Rowdy] Wait. [Beat] [Rowdy] There's another round? [Bammer] Apparently. [Benny] Best vacation ever. [Crosswire] Told you. [Engines rev] [Announcer] TWO LANES! TWO TRACTORS! ROUND TWO IS COMING! [Huge crowd cheers] [Announcer] LET'S PULL! [Engines roar] [End]
