Welcome to the house… Where the dead don’t sleep… The walls have ears… And the bass runs deep. You hear that? Walked in the house at a quarter past ten, Front door slammed, then it opened again. Lights went red, chandelier spun, Grandma’s ghost said, “OH, THIS’LL BE FUN!” Floorboards knocking out a four-four beat, Skeleton tap-dancing, no shoes on his feet. Portrait on the wall started moving its lips, Then the whole dang staircase started doing backflips! I said, “Is this haunted?” Ghost said, “Obviously.” “Should I be scared?” “Only if you hate EDM!” One door… (BOOM!) Two doors… (BOOM!) Three doors… (BOOM!) OHHHH, THAT’S A GOOD SAMPLE! AH-AH-AH-AHHH! AH-AH-AH-AHHH! DOOR SLAM! FLOOR JAM! WHO LET THE DEAD RUN THE PROGRAM?! THE HAUNTED HOUSE HAS A DJ! (HEY! HEY! HEY!) Every door slam makes the bass go BOOM! Every scream gets sampled in the room! Poltergeist flashing lights on cue, Even the furniture knows what to do! HAUNTED HOUSE! (BOOM! BOOM!) HAUNTED HOUSE! (SCREAM! SCREAM!) D-D-D-DEAD PEOPLE DANCE! Kitchen’s possessed, now the blender’s on bass, Zombie in the mirror doing makeup on his face. Mummy in the corner getting wrapped in the beat, Vampire complaining that the lighting’s too sweet. Witch at the bar said, “Who’s running this place?” Ghost in the ceiling said, “I DON’T HAVE A FACE!” Broomstick spinning like a helicopter blade, Frankenstein crowd-surfing, somebody call his maid! Coffin in the hallway, subwoofer inside, Grim Reaper yelling, “THIS IS ONE HELL OF A RIDE!” Ouija board spelling out “TURN IT UP,” Then the headless horseman dropped his head in a cup! Lights… out. One little candle… One little sound… WAIT FOR IT… DROP THE HOUSE! The windows shake… The portraits stare… There’s something floating… Above the stairs… Doors are the drums! Screams are the sound! Ghosts in the ceiling! Bass underground! Lights go RED! Lights go BLUE! DEAD OR ALIVE— THIS DROP’S FOR YOU! THE HAUNTED HOUSE HAS A DJ! (HEY! HEY! HEY!) Every door slam makes the bass go BOOM! Every scream gets sampled in the room! The walls are shaking, the floor’s alive, IT’S A GRAVEYARD RAVE AT 12:05! HAUNTED HOUSE! BOOM! BOOM! HAUNTED HOUSE! ZOOM! ZOOM! HA-HA-HA-HAUNTED! D-D-D-DJ! B-B-B-BASS DROP! ALL NIGHT! ALL DAY!
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