[INTRO — Dark Carnival Organ / Crowd Noise] Ladies and gentlemen… Step right up. I present The greatest carnival barker in the world. The biggest meaningless words. The biggest claims. The biggest ego…. An Egomaniac TrumPinocchio!!!! And yet somehow… He’s still just the smallest pecker head in the room. Hahahhahaha [VERSE 1] He entered the stage like a crashing stock market, Down that escalator, selling dreams by the lie. Bombastic, narcissistic, Every sentence loaded like a gun. He pointed at the crowd, Then pointed at the screen, If somebody challenged him, They became his enemy. Nicknames flying like confetti, Insults dressed up as a childish scold, He could never say, “I was wrong,” But he’d tell you how his little boy self was wronged [PRE-CHORUS] Big man, big tower, Big mouth, little grace. Every mirror in the kingdom Needs to show his true piggy face. [CHORUS] PHAT MAN! THE SUPER ZERO! TrumPinocchio, America’s First Lying King. PHAT MAN! THE SUPER ZERO! Throws a verbal bomb Then calls himself the king. He needs the crowd, He wants the crown, But all he is is a circus clown He calls himself a winner… But who’s he really winning for? PHAT MAN! THE SUPER ZERO! [VERSE 2] He says he knows big words, But often his words get lost in dribbled nonsense He’ll build a mountain into nothing And name it after himself. “Everybody says!” “Biggest ever!” “Believe me!” Truth walks in his head And then he sends lies out - the TV SCREAMS!!! And then came Springfield, A claim so wild it flew— It spread just like a virus, Till half the country knew. “They’re eating dogs! They’re eating cats!” The crowd went— “What the Fudge?” The claim became the headline, The rumor became the show, Reality was standing there… But reality said, “GOD NO.” [CHORUS] PHAT MAN! THE SUPER ZERO! TrumPinocchio, America’s first Lying King. PHAT MAN! THE SUPER ZERO! When facts don’t fit the story, Change the story — change the lie. He’ll sell you fear, He’ll sell you fame, He’ll sell you anything you’ll buy. And if the truth comes a knocking… He’ll override it with a Donald Duck ego driven lie. [VERSE 3 — THE MIRROR] He turns every battle into A conflict about himself. Every critic is the enemy, Every imagined win goes on a shelf. He doesn’t answer questions, He attacks the ones who ask. He’s an ego with a microphone, A grievance wearing a mask. He gives his enemies nicknames, Turns humiliation into sport, And if somebody beats him fairly… Well, Trump fairness must be taught. [PRE-CHORUS 2] He wants loyalty without question, Applause without end. He doesn’t need a mirror… He just wants imagined friends who pretend. [CHORUS] PHAT MAN! THE SUPER ZERO! TrumPinocchio, America’s First Lying King. A verbal bomb-throwing Self Crowned celebrity king. An all consuming Meathead, Marching to his own charade. PHAT MAN! THE SUPER ZERO! [VERSE 4 — THE WOMEN / THE COVER-UP] In a billionaire’s bedroom, A tabloid’s flashing light, A tawdry affair bought with money In the middle of the night. Then paperwork and payments, Invoices dressed as lies, Thirty-four convictions later, And he blames someone else Shock!!!! Not!!! He says, “Fake news!” “Witch hunt!” “THEY ALL LIE” But the jury heard the evidence HE CHEATED ON HIS PREGNANT WIFE!!!! SCUM CUM - and the Religious voted for him NOT ONCE!!! BUT TWICE!!! But the Jury came back with this SINNER’s Justice! GUILTY!!! [BREAKDOWN — SPOKEN] Now not every accusation is a conviction. Not every allegation is a fact. But sometimes… When a jury speaks. The PERMANENT record speaks louder than the man always spewing nonstop BULLSHIT!!! [HEAVY CHORUS] PHAT MAN! THE SUPER ZERO! A gilded tower of ego Built on wounded pride. PHAT MAN! THE SUPER ZERO! Everybody’s wrong When he’s on the losing side. He’ll insult the judge, He’ll attack the press, He’ll call the critic names. Then whine to the whole damn country That he’s the victim of a witch hunt. [BRIDGE — QUIET / DARK] Maybe that’s the strangest part… Not the hair. Not the shouting. Not the spectacle. Just his inability to simply say: “I was wrong.” Three skinny piggy little words!!! [FINAL CHORUS — FULL BAND] PHAT MAN! THE SUPER ZERO! TrumPinocchio, Still dancing in his lies of delusion PHAT MAN! THE SUPER ZERO! Turning every wrong into Another reason he thinks he’s right. He wants the biggest tower, The biggest crowd, The biggest name in gold. But a con man can own the spotlight AND STILL JUST BE - A WASTE OF SPACE!!! PHAT MAN! THE SUPER ZERO! The loudest voice in the room. The smallest mind to have ever held the office. PHAT MAN! THE SUPER ZERO! A Carnival Barker With a cardboard throne. [OUTRO — CROWD FADES] The lights go down. The crowd goes home. The music stops. The mirror remains. And there he is… Still talking. Still pointing. Still blaming. Still selling his lies And still alone with the one person he can never escape. The hollow soul of Himself!!! [FINAL] GOTHAM CITY’s OWN!!! PHAT MAN!!!
