03-13 | Bunnyman Bridge: Suburban Myth and Hatchet Rabbit

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V5.5

[Intro]
(Distorted, heavy punk bassline revving up like a chainsaw)
(Sound of a heavy hatchet thudding into wood) 
Lock your car doors and get out of the trees! 
The angriest mascot is a bunny!

[Verse 1]
Down in Fairfax County on Colchester Road,
There's a twelve-foot stone arch where the legends explode!
They said an asylum bus crashed in nineteen-oh-four,
Leaving Marcus and Douglas running out the back door!
Leaving half-eaten rabbits all over the ground,
But the archivist proved they were never quite found!
No, the real terror wasn't an ancient ghost tale,
It was a guy in a suit who was off of the rails!

[Chorus]
(Explosive, heavy punk-rock power chords and screaming group vocals)
Oh, beware of the Bunnyman swinging his ax!
A suburban legend falling right through the cracks!
He's wearing white ears and he's mad at the sprawl!
Throwing wooden-handled hatchets at the windshield glass wall!
He doesn't want eggs and he doesn't want treats!
He just wants the developers off of his streets!

[Verse 2]
(Fast, palm-muted chugging guitars)
In October of seventy, an Air Force cadet,
Parked his car in the dark, it's a night he'd regret!
A man in a bunny suit jumped from the trees,
Yelling "Private property!" into the breeze!
Two weeks later on Guinea Road, chopping the wood,
Trying to stop all the houses from invading his hood!
He stood five-foot-eight and he threatened their heads!
Sending all of the neighborhood hiding in beds!

[Guitar Solo]
(A blistering, chaotic, frantic punk rock guitar solo)
(Sound of aggressive carrot crunching in the background)

[Bridge]
(Tempo drops to a heavy, creeping tom-drum beat)
The police wrote a report in the spring of seventy-one,
"Unsubstantiated rabbit" when the chopping was done!
No Donny Darko, just a guy in a suit,
Defending his land with a hatchet to boot!

[Chorus]
(Maximum energy, cymbals crashing, overdrive)
Oh, beware of the Bunnyman swinging his ax!
A suburban legend falling right through the cracks!
He's wearing white ears and he's mad at the sprawl!
Throwing wooden-handled hatchets at the windshield glass wall!
He doesn't want eggs and he doesn't want treats!
He just wants the developers off of his streets!

[Outro]
(Music cuts out to just a rumbling bass)
Stay off the bridge! Watch out for the ears! 
(A single, loud metallic 'SHING' of a blade) 
[End]

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[Intro] (Distorted, heavy punk bassline revving up like a chainsaw) (Sound of a heavy hatchet thudding into wood) Lock your car doors and get out of the trees! The angriest mascot is a bunny! [Verse 1] Down in Fairfax County on Colchester Road, There's a twelve-foot stone arch where the legends explode! They said an asylum bus crashed in nineteen-oh-four, Leaving Marcus and Douglas running out the back door! Leaving half-eaten rabbits all over the ground, But the archivist proved they were never quite found! No, the real terror wasn't an ancient ghost tale, It was a guy in a suit who was off of the rails! [Chorus] (Explosive, heavy punk-rock power chords and screaming group vocals) Oh, beware of the Bunnyman swinging his ax! A suburban legend falling right through the cracks! He's wearing white ears and he's mad at the sprawl! Throwing wooden-handled hatchets at the windshield glass wall! He doesn't want eggs and he doesn't want treats! He just wants the developers off of his streets! [Verse 2] (Fast, palm-muted chugging guitars) In October of seventy, an Air Force cadet, Parked his car in the dark, it's a night he'd regret! A man in a bunny suit jumped from the trees, Yelling "Private property!" into the breeze! Two weeks later on Guinea Road, chopping the wood, Trying to stop all the houses from invading his hood! He stood five-foot-eight and he threatened their heads! Sending all of the neighborhood hiding in beds! [Guitar Solo] (A blistering, chaotic, frantic punk rock guitar solo) (Sound of aggressive carrot crunching in the background) [Bridge] (Tempo drops to a heavy, creeping tom-drum beat) The police wrote a report in the spring of seventy-one, "Unsubstantiated rabbit" when the chopping was done! No Donny Darko, just a guy in a suit, Defending his land with a hatchet to boot! [Chorus] (Maximum energy, cymbals crashing, overdrive) Oh, beware of the Bunnyman swinging his ax! A suburban legend falling right through the cracks! He's wearing white ears and he's mad at the sprawl! Throwing wooden-handled hatchets at the windshield glass wall! He doesn't want eggs and he doesn't want treats! He just wants the developers off of his streets! [Outro] (Music cuts out to just a rumbling bass) Stay off the bridge! Watch out for the ears! (A single, loud metallic 'SHING' of a blade) [End]

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