Juniper Foxfire - "Welcome to the Weird"

[Intro — spoken, theatrical] Ladies, gentlewolves, lost things, found things, and creatures with no paperwork… welcome. Please keep your hands inside the nightmare unless the nightmare asks nicely. Step right up, don’t mind the fog, the moon hangs low like a watching god. Tickets cheap and souls are free, sign your name in blackberry. Hat tipped low, boots click twice, oh, you look like bad advice. Come on in, don’t act so shy, the exit learned to lie. [Pre-Chorus] Do you hear that little tune? Da-da-da, it’s in the room. Try to run, it follows you— how unfortunate. How cute. [Chorus] Welcome to the weird, weird, wonderful wrong, where the shadows clap and the dead hum along. If you’re scared, then cheer. If you’re lost, come near. Welcome to the weird, my dear. Welcome to the strange, strange, beautiful bite, where the teeth shine bright in the violet light. If you came for a show, then I hope you know— the show came looking for you tonight. [Post-Chorus — intentionally catchy/annoying] Oogy-oogy, ring that bell, boogie took the night off, honey, I do it well. Oogy-oogy, stomp your feet, creep-creep cute on the carnival beat. [Verse 2] We got moths in hats and ghosts on stilts, sins in sequins, guilt in silk. One-eyed dolls and velvet ropes, fortune cards that smell like smoke. Don’t be rude, don’t be clean, we don’t do “normal” in between. If your halo’s cracked, that’s fine, we charge extra for divine. [Pre-Chorus 2] Do you feel that little twitch? That’s the music in the stitch. Smile wide and show your teeth, you’re much prettier underneath. [Chorus] Welcome to the weird, weird, wonderful wrong, where the shadows clap and the dead hum along. If you’re scared, then cheer. If you’re lost, come near. Welcome to the weird, my dear. Welcome to the strange, strange, beautiful bite, where the teeth shine bright in the violet light. If you came for a show, then I hope you know— the show came looking for you tonight. [Bridge — seductive, slow, dangerous] I don’t promise safe. I don’t promise sane. I promise you’ll remember who called you by your hidden name. I don’t promise quiet. I don’t promise sweet. I promise when the curtain lifts, you’ll feel it in your feet. [Breakdown — ringmaster call-and-response] Who owns the fog? I do. Who bites the moon? You do. Who came alive when the lights went low? We do. Again. Who owns the fog? I do. Who bites the moon? You do. Who’s out-oogying the boogie? We do, we do, we do! [Final Chorus — bigger, crowd chanting] Welcome to the weird, weird, wonderful wrong, where the shadows clap and the dead hum along. If you’re scared, then cheer. If you’re lost, come near. Welcome to the weird, my dear. Welcome to the strange, strange, beautiful bite, where the teeth shine bright in the violet light. If you came for a show, then I hope you know— the show came looking for you tonight. [Outro — spoken over fading calliope] No refunds. No exits. No boring people past this point. Now smile for the fog, darling. The carnival likes you.