Silently My Heart Cries

So what If I’m in denial Don’t want to talk about it I’d rather go numb and crash out We both need closure The door left open I feel you slipping away But pushing you out is what I chose Needed you to stay but I had to leave Wanted full control You wanted my heart fully I feel like now I’ve made you cry more than I could make you happy It’s the last damn thing that I wanted because I love you so damn much baby And I no you must need honesty and clarity And I’m sitting here numbing absolutely everything Like this isn’t real It’s all a in the middle of the night bad dream And so what I don’t want to talk about it I’m in denial But what I can’t deny No matter how hard I’ve tried Or numb my pain by getting high Is the ache from inside Silently my heart cries You give me more than enough tries I’m a foolish man I couldn’t get it right I can’t live without you Not being in my life And deep within Life the stabbing of a deadly penetrating knife My soul screams Silently my heart cries Like the rain that’s pouring From the sky You give me More than enough tries Now all I deserve is the mourning Of losing the most important person In my life I have no one or anything But my damn self to blame You grew tired of same ol broken promises Escuses for not making things better Blaming everything for not standing firmly Getting it right And I’m so sorry But you don’t hear me I scream, I bleed, I deserve to find it this hard to breathe, it’s the last thing that I wanted, because I love you so damn much baby, I know you felt the adbandoment , haunted by the memories and questions, how could the one that brought me into this world Be the same one that continues to hurt me How How How Why Why Why Tell me my life How How How Why What did I do Should I die Did you not want me Are you better off in your life Not looking back And leaving me and brother behind Do you ever think about me I cry for you in the middle of the night I’ve tried leaving this world for you Failed attempts of trying to commit suicide For years I’ve felt all alone I’m not like these people in this house They seem to love me But want accept me for me They are not my kind And I’m being delayed Delayed Why in the hell am I being delayed Finally I can escape You them Myself Everything Why would I go Why would I stay Because of you I’m leaving this place The one that I love Leaving them behind And if you think I’ll ever forgive you Than we have both lost our mind Don’t think to come for me If u do I’ll end bout of our life’s I’m better off without you I don’t need you by my side I do not complete you How can I believe in god He never showed up When in our emense pain Was the time to save us literally Why how why how why how why how why God tell me I pray Tell me God Tell me Why how why how why how why God Why God heal me Help me Save me I pray Please Because I love you so damn much baby I no Yea Baby I know My soul screams I feel like I made u cry more than I could make you happy It’s the last thing that I wanted Because I love you so damn much baby I no That you must need honesty and clarity Let the past go Son let the past go I know Said son I know I know I know I know I know I know I know We can take it slow I know son I know son We can take it slow