I was drunk. I ran out of people to use. I tried to lie in bed. I got sick. As I held my head above the rim I thought of business. Work. Ways I could use my friends. I stuck my fingers in my throat. Felt the symphonic feel of yesteryear. MAN, it felt good! Vomiting up the bullshit of tonight. Double choking on old shit. Damnit. Why did that feel good? What’s wrong with my brain? Give and take Take my give Say you more Less I live Suspicion Go explore Doubtful haste Try me more Don’t ever let Anyone try You bring me to knees Without the sly I’m yours for now I’m yours for all Keep the beggar But not the lie My heart breaks Watching your friends They think I’m fake They can’t begin So.... Give and take Take my give Say you more Less I live These nights that plague me at haul They're dreaded at nights end. The worst of all. Lincoln, Munch, Dickens..Darwin even? I wonder often how they...then Ponder how I'll fall. Am I Ashamed? Guilty? Afraid? Am I just Lost. Always Alone yet surrounded by my lovely moss. Those of my rituals. My norms, My growth. How will they see me go? Or grow? Who's fault?! How will I have loved the most? Untouched...my connection of forever. ...fasting. Unsoothed. I pray that feeling is not lasting. Growing rich without spite. Without haste. I wonder. I gather. I ponder that taste. You're golden and gentle. Nurturing. You're kind and forgiving unfound. I have words for you. but that place inside is unfound. Pray with me. Hands locked. Knees bent. Ask of me. Beg of me. Secrets be unkempt. Diligence is daily. Words are meaningless and solemn. Pride is guided. Love is lost. And Love has fallen. Tonight I swept away the tears of regret. All retracted with a stroke. But forever Heart filled anguish and bleeding gums now broken. Help me: I need you. YESSS, I need you!! I need you. Never we are strong all hours. I need me. Forever like hours on wilting black flowers. Timing doesn't heal my plague. My basque. My fortune. But Memories are always dancing. Those are My plague. My torture. My fate. My flaw. Forever I will need you, my mirror. My run. Forever. Always mine. Even my departure I find Easily to seek my kind My ticket is punched I smile. I recognize Selfishly kind Crazy mind Too much for open eyes Too much for the blind But I don’t mind this line The queue sign Well, i got it that time Found my everlasting rhyme Eternal bind Self bonded right THEN HERE WE GOOOOOOO The horns chime With moons light Relaxation tight No more ego to fight I’ll stay dead But you? Well, fool….. (Hheee hhaaaaaaahh mmmm hmm haha) When I die You’ll all find a word. The letters to spell my feelings, The hope to justify my existence Even in death, Love isn’t enough What do you say when it’s deeper You’ll make me that woman who’d help anyone You’ll say that I’m (what will you saaayyy) That I’m more? Or that my “too much” wasn’t enough after all? Perhaps that I was More intricate More sophisticated More complicated Mysterious? unexplainable in my passions? Life through my own lens -was laughed off. Poetically celestial - not understood Definition of love - didn’t match yours Never will. For my peace needs not validation. Earthly closure is for you, still. So do what makes you feel content with your free meal I bet you look best in black Hat or no, still limp and simple As you crank that Kleenex box That’s a show, a ripple in your day Those aloe coated, gentle tissue Caught no actual tears but good efforts Most will still hug and rub your back Looks of discern on wrinkled polished skin I don’t fold even in death But you must move on SO QUICKLY SO FAST DO AS YOU MUST REWRITE MY LIFE TRITE AS YOUR MIND LIKE YOUR KIND RETYPE MY STORY I DIDNT CARE WHEN I SAW YOU LAST YEAR STILL NO FUCKS TO GUVE YOU LIVE, I forgive No need to PROOFREAD my life YOUR GRAMMAR mistakes Will take too long You’d come first like you take Mistake my songs Don’t waste time My hurt never chimed Kept you blind Though you weren’t You knew All the time Truth you’d find But it’s too late I stoped my dossier Long before you drive away
