[low worn vocal] While the others slept I prayed to the gods of porcelain Bent at the altar Trying not to turn inside out again [half muttered] And I prayed Some might say sang Noise out of my mouth I did not know was mine Pain beyond pain Despair down to the bone And I thought that was what I needed Till Billy stood at the door [remembered voice slow easy] Get your boots on cowboy Time to saddle up [low worn vocal] Mouth full of pennies Head full of bad religion Night still alive in me Mean as a dog in the kitchen That cat with the sunglasses Looking down like sunrise already won Alive and awake and bright And I was none of it Not one damned bit [remembered voice stretched] Get your boots on cowboy Time to saddle up [brushes and bass] I said go on without me Let the rabbit keep his creek I was busy being weak Busy needing what I needed And not having it Billy in the doorway Cool as if dawn had asked him in Hat low voice slow Talking to the man I had been Not rushed Not hard Not cruel Just sure And that made it worse [remembered voice easy teasing] Get your boots on cowboy Time to saddle up [open air] Street outside still sleeping Sky not ready to turn I could taste the poison leaving Still feel the old poison burn Billy moving easy Me tripping over every word Why this rabbit Why this hour Why his calm Why Billy’s faith Why drag my ragged hide down there Before I even had my face [quieter] Because he saw something That I did not Because he was awake And I was not [soft] Then the stream came breathing Mist and reed and stone And all that smart mouth poison Did not sound so strong alone There he was by the water Small and still and brown Like he had no need to prove a thing To sickness or to town [muttered] And I hated that too [low worn vocal] Billy said nothing Which was Billy at his worst When he knows he is right He lets the quiet do the work So I stood there hollow Cold and foul and chewed With Billy bright beside me And that rabbit in the blue [quiet remembered voice] Get your boots on cowboy Time to saddle up [close] And the morning kept widening Though I wished it would not And I followed two things living While feeling like I was not
