i stopped saying “i’m fine” because the lie started tasting like rust. truth is, i wake up heavy— every day feels like walking with water in my lungs. people think grief is a storm that passes. but storms pass—this didn’t. this stayed. it lives here now. you weren’t just my brother— you were the one person who understood my silence. now silence feels like betrayal. i try to live, but life feels rented without you. i smile, but it never reaches my chest. i breathe, but it doesn’t feel like breathing. i keep going—because stopping makes it worse. but moving forward feels like leaving you behind— and i can’t do that either. i still drive past places we used to be just to feel something real. i still talk to you out loud when no one’s around. i still wait for a sign I know won’t come. death made everyone else quiet— but it made my head loud. tomorrow still hurts— i wake up in the same war with the same ache and the same missing piece. tomorrow still hurts— but i carry you anyway. they say time heals— i think time just hides things in deeper rooms. you don’t get better after this— you just learn how to bleed slower. i’m tired of pretending this made me stronger. no—it broke me. strength is just me refusing to let the break win. i keep your name in every plan. your voice in every decision. your ghost in every mile. i still don’t know who i am without you— but i refuse to become someone who forgets you. i won’t let the world erase you. tomorrow still hurts— i wake up in the same war with the same ache and the same missing piece. tomorrow still hurts— but i carry you anyway. [fast rap] some days i pace like i’m lost in my own skin some days i pray just to curse breath again some days i drown standing still on land some days i break just to learn i can grief ain’t soft, it carves like steel it don’t ask—just eats what’s real i built my spine from funeral smoke i learned survival’s a silent choke i held my breath till memories ripped i clenched my teeth till reason slipped i folded my rage, stored it neat i buried my hope, six layers deep i walk with weight i don’t explain i weather love but swim through pain i sleep with fists, i wake with ghosts i talk to loss more than most i don’t get rest, i get through days i don’t get peace, i get delays i don’t get soft, i get precise heart like coal, pressure to ice hands still shake but won’t let go path still long but i still show truth still cuts but i don’t bleed lies pain still screams but i meet its eyes i carry the dead like living blood i stand in fire but don’t evacuate love i build from ache, i walk through night i live what hurts but still choose fight you ain’t gone—you’re built in my bones you’re in my steps, my breath, my tone death took you—but not your worth i’m proof you lived—i move your earth [falsetto-driven lift] and when my strength runs out, i still whisper your name into tomorrow— even if tomorrow still hurts. i feel you in the quiet when the world fades down in the weight i carry but won’t set down and if tomorrow breaks me, i’ll still rise first because love doesn’t end— tomorrow just hurts… worse. [soft falsetto fade] i’m still trying, i’m still here but i hate every day without you near i keep going, but i’m not healed i just carry what i can’t rebuild… [outro]
