*** Fifth song by my dictator persona Magnus Magnanimous, a pompous and bombastic dictator. Magnus is used as a satire to mock the growing number of dictators in the world, as well as all wannabe dictators of the world. Stand up against these people - always. Even if it is just by making funny songs that mock their actual silliness. *** [Intro – Echoing bathroom reverb, dripping taps, distant glam guitar chord] [Magnus – tender, whispered, childish tone] “Ohhh, Mr. Petey… aren’t you the best? Yes you are… yes you are… my only friend…” splash splash, kiss kiss [Petey choir softly:] (Quack… quack…) [soft laugh, then sudden paranoia:] “Who’s there?! …Oh… just me… and Petey.” [Verse 1 – Minimal glam ballad, watery guitar strums, bathtub echo] Bubbles rise like nations fall, Foam disguises, I trust none at all. Each shadow’s a spy, each ripple’s a knife, But Petey… you’re my life. They plot in silence, whisper in steam, But you, my duck, you never scheme. Closest circle? Ha—one by one… gone! Only you and I, Petey, sing along. [Petey choir:] (Quack-quack! Quack-quack!) [Chorus – Swelling glam ballad, but still bathtub intimacy] Oh Petey, Petey, float with me, You’re my people’s loyalty. [Petey choir:] (Quaaaack… quaaaack…) Oh Petey, Petey, never betray, All the rest… flushed away. [Verse 2 – Magnus bitterly mocking, then soft to Petey] Trumble Tremendous—what a toy, HAHA My puppet clown, my golf-club boy. He bows and grins, he dances, sings, A president of… silly things. With ladies fair I baited his trust, Spies and secrets, dirt and lust. Oh Petey, he’s mine, as dumb as can be, The strongest man of Not-Me… works for Me. [Petey choir, smugly:] (Quack-quack-quaaack!) [Chorus – Slightly bigger, mocking flourish] Oh Petey, Petey, you’re my guard, Life is simple… others make it hard. [Petey choir:] (Quack-quack-quack!) Oh Petey, Petey, my shining star, Better friend than any czar. [Bridge – Whispered, dripping taps, paranoid mutterings] “They’re in the walls, they’re in the drain… Them is coming, again, again! But Petey, kiss me, don’t you fear, They’ll never take you… my sweet… duck… dear.” splash splash, Hahahahaha [Petey choir, ominous:] (Quack… quack… quaaaack…) [Final Chorus – Glam guitars swell, Magnus triumphant yet pathetic] Oh Petey, Petey, float with me, Rubber prophet, eternity! [Petey choir:] (Quack-quack! Quack-quack!) Oh Petey, Petey, my chosen one, When all are gone… we’ll rule as one! [Outro – Bubble pops, fading reverb] [Magnus tender, whispering:] “Shhhh… don’t tell them, Petey… Shhh… only you… only you…” [Petey choir softly repeats in bathroom echo:] (Quack… quack… quack…)
