*(Verse 1)* Woke up this morning, my phone’s in a mood, Blinking like it ate some bad digital food. Got an app for my toaster, it burns my bread, Another one’s yelling, “Get outta bed!” My dog’s got an app now, it tracks his barks, Says he’s madder than me when I’m stuck in the dark. Icons multiplying like roaches on crack, I swipe for my sanity, but it ain’t comin’ back! *(Chorus)* Oh, there’s too many apps, too many apps, My phone’s like a circus, it’s jumpin’ with traps. A million little dings, a million little zaps, It’s chaos on my screen, I’m ‘bout to collapse! I just wanna call my mom, maybe send a meme, But I’m stuck in this app soup, it’s a touchscreen dream. Yeah, too many apps, it’s a digital prank, My thumb’s got more miles than a gas-guzzlin’ tank! *(Verse 2)* Got an app for my socks, it pairs ‘em by hue, But half of ‘em vanish, now what do I do? Got a nose-picking app, yeah, it rates my style, Says I’m “world-class” with a booger-filled smile. My fridge has an app, it texts me, “Buy kale!” But I’m orderin’ pizza, that ship’s set to sail. They’re all screamin’ “Update!” at 2 a.m. sharp, My phone’s playin’ dubstep with a digital harp! *(Chorus)* Oh, there’s too many apps, too many apps, My phone’s like a circus, it’s jumpin’ with traps. A million little dings, a million little zaps, It’s chaos on my screen, I’m ‘bout to collapse! I just wanna call my mom, maybe send a meme, But I’m stuck in this app soup, it’s a touchscreen dream. Yeah, too many apps, it’s a digital prank, My thumb’s got more miles than a gas-guzzlin’ tank! *(Bridge)* I dreamed of an app that’d just let me be, No pop-ups, no ads, no “low battery” plea. An app for bad Wi-Fi that actually works, Not one that just shrugs and calls me a jerk. I want an app for dodging group chat fights, Or one that stops my ex from textin’ at night! But the app store just laughs, says, “Download some more!” Now my phone’s got a therapist, it’s cryin’ on the floor. *(Chorus)* Oh, there’s too many apps, too many apps, My phone’s like a circus, it’s jumpin’ with traps. A million little dings, a million little zaps, It’s chaos on my screen, I’m ‘bout to collapse! I just wanna call my mom, maybe send a meme, But I’m stuck in this app soup, it’s a touchscreen dream. Yeah, too many apps, it’s a digital prank, My thumb’s got more miles than a gas-guzzlin’ tank! *(Outro)* Yeah, too many apps… Too many apps… Swipe, tap, crash, I’m losin’ my knack. Oh, too many apps… What’s next? Gonna chuck this phone and talk to my cat!
