[Intro – soft acoustic guitar, morning garden department ambience] [Male garden employee – conversational] Another morning in Garden. Coffee in one hand, hose in the other... And somehow I'm already covered in dirt. [Small laugh] Here we go. [Verse 1] Sun comes up, gates roll wide, Garden center's waiting outside, Water on the flowers, sweep the floor, Then somebody asks what roses are for. I point to the sign, say, "They're right over there," Customer says, "I know, but which ones do you care?" I take a breath, try to explain, While a sprinkler starts spraying me again. [Pre-Chorus] Got dirt on my boots, Leaves in my hair, Thorns in my gloves And soil everywhere. It's just another morning, Nothing out of sight... Until I reach for that rose— [Beat] And it reaches back tonight. [Chorus] Rose thorns and cacti, That's what fills my day, Prickly little problems Everywhere I turn my way. Rose thorns and cacti, You better watch your hands, One minute you're watering flowers, Next you're bleeding where you stand! [Background vocals] Watch those thorns! [Lead] I'm watching! [Background] Not close enough! [Verse 2] Cactus on the table, cactus on the floor, Cactus by the register, cactus by the door, Somebody moved a pallet, now I don't know where, And there's a giant agave blocking all the stairs. I grab a cart, start moving plants, Try to make a little room, Then somebody says, "Can you help me?" [Pause] "Which one's gonna bloom?" I look at twenty different flowers, Then I look at them again. [Spoken] Ma'am, I work here... [Beat] I don't know them personally. [Chorus] Rose thorns and cacti, That's what fills my day, Prickly little problems Everywhere I turn my way. Rose thorns and cacti, You better watch your hands, One minute you're moving flowers, Next you're pulling out a cactus spine again! [Background] OW! [Lead] Who's yelling? [Background] Me! [Lead] What happened? [Background] Cactus. [Lead] Yeah... that'll do it. [Verse 3] Afternoon heat starts rolling in, Fans are running, we're sweating again, Water the hanging baskets, check every tray, Move a hundred plants before the end of the day. Then the season starts changing, And here comes the next display, Yesterday it was garden... Now they're taking half of it away. I move the roses, move the trees, Move the pots and everything, Then I hear somebody laughing— [Spoken] "Hey, can you move this thing?" [Lead] What thing? [Spoken] That giant cactus. [Lead] How giant? [Pause] [Spoken] Don't worry about it. [Bridge – music drops to acoustic guitar] By the time I punch out, My boots are full of dirt, My shirt smells like fertilizer, And every inch of me hurts. I get home, take off my shoes, Finally sit down in my chair... [Soft guitar] Close my eyes... [Pause] And see a garden. [Dreamlike Chorus] Rose thorns and cacti, Growing everywhere, Rows of flowers stretching As far as I can stare. Rose thorns and cacti, Climbing up the walls, I try to walk away... But somehow... I'm still at work. [Instrumental Break – playful slide guitar] [Dreaming employee – confused] Wait... Why is there a cactus in my kitchen? [Pause] Why is there a rose bush in the hallway? [Pause] Why am I holding a hose? [Sprinkler sound] Oh, come on! [Final Chorus – full band] Rose thorns and cacti, They followed me home, I spent all day with plants, Now they won't leave me alone! Rose thorns and cacti, I can't escape the view, I close my eyes and see the garden... Then I wake up— [Beat] —and I've got dirt on me too! [Background vocals] Rose thorns! [Lead] CACTI! [Background] Watch your hands! [Lead] I'm trying! [Background] Watch your feet! [Lead] I'M TRYING! [Outro – guitar fading] [Male garden employee – exhausted laugh] Tomorrow morning... Same place. Same flowers. Same cactus. [Pause] And somebody's gonna ask me... [Customer voice] "Do you know anything about plants?" [Long pause] [Lead] ...Apparently not. [Final guitar lick]
