[Intro] (Check the levels) (Yeah, yeah, yeah) One hundred and seventy-five beats of pure unadulterated carnage Gazzy in the building Tracksuit tucked in the socks Let’s have it (Watch out for the stick!) [Verse 1] Stepped in the corner shop, hood up, looking for a snack and a quick bit of profit Eyeing up the Benson and Hedges but the old man behind the till told me to stop it I said "Listen here Grandad, keep your mouth shut or I’m gonna have to pop it" Then he pulled a six-foot piece of bamboo out his sleeve and I nearly dropped my wallet He’s doing spinning kicks over the Penny Sweets, I’m dodging splinters and Kung-Fu heat He’s a Shaolin master in a cardigan, sweeping my legs off the linoleum sheet I grabbed a crate of Stella, did a backflip, tripped on a bag of pickled onion wheat Burst through the doors like a lunatic, sprinting down the middle of the high street! [Chorus] He’s got the bamboo, I’ve got the speed Running from a master is a different kind of breed Polyester rubbing till I’m buzzing like a wire One touch of the finger and the world’s on fire! (Static! Static!) (Watch the spark fly!) [Verse 2] I saw an old girl parked by the chemist, keys in the ignition of her shiny red scooter Jumped on the seat, twisted the throttle, sounding like a high-speed commuter Looking back, there’s the shopkeeper, sprinting on the walls like a parkour looter Waving that bamboo, screaming in Cantonese, I’m a high-speed mobility shooter! Eight miles an hour, wind in my fringe, doing a wheelie on the edge of the curb I’m weaving through traffic, dodging the buses, the most ridiculous sight you’ve observed But the friction, man, the friction is peak, my Shell suit is generating literal lightning Every time my knees rub together, the voltage is getting incredibly frightening! [Pre-Chorus] (Zap) (Can you feel the charge?) (My hair’s standing up like a bloody hedgehog!) [Chorus] He’s got the bamboo, I’ve got the speed Running from a master is a different kind of breed Polyester rubbing till I’m buzzing like a wire One touch of the finger and the world’s on fire! (Static! Static!) [Bridge] (Breakdown) I veered off the path, through a hole in the hedge, ended up deep in a muddy green field The scooter hit a rock, I went flying through the air, my fate was officially sealed I landed face-first in the side of a cow, a big fat heifer called Daisy or Bess And the static electricity built in my suit? Well, it caused a right bloody mess! Ten thousand volts from my nylon chest, hit the cow’s udder like a lightning strike The cow did a somersault, mooed in high-pitch, I’ve never seen anything like! The shopkeeper caught up, saw the smoking beef, and put down his bamboo pole He just shook his head, sighed at the carnage, and looked at the depth of my soul! [Final Chorus] He had the bamboo, I had the speed Running from a master is a different kind of breed Polyester rubbing till I’m buzzing like a wire I electrocuted a cow and the situation’s dire! (Static! Static!) (Total meltdown!) [Outro] (Yeah) (Sizzling beef in the meadow) (I’m walking home, my suit is melted to my skin) (Don't buy cheap nylon, lads) (Shout out to the Kung-Fu off-license massive) (I’m out of here) (One hundred and seventy-five) (Done)
