I wake in a hollow room, his shadow still warm on the bed. He is now gone, slipped out of my world, and I don’t know if he breathes anymore. The man I grew up beside, the one I have known all my life we began our journey together, now I walk it alone through the night. They say he was taken by pirates, dragged into the depths of the void. Taken by pirates… lost to the night… He was not found in the wreckage, just the cold, dark and the void. No body, no proof… only the dawn… Two others were left in the wreckage, but of my love, nothing remains. Nothing but memories… nothing but ripples… I cannot allow myself to feel, I cannot let the flood take hold. If I start screaming into the dark, I’ll never regain control. Crying won’t bring him back to me, tears won’t uncover the truth. Only a methodical search will do, only the work will lead me to proof. Until he returns, I will not change, I will remain exactly as I am. Some say to move on, say he is lost, but I know he is only… missing. I hold myself still as winter, I hold myself tight as stone. If the world wants me to let him go, the world will have to wait alone. An icy calm surrounds me now, a chilling vision forms in my hands. Take the colour out of my life the one who gave me colour has vanished into the night. People have called me cold before, but cold is what I choose to become. White hair, white skin, stark as the moon I am only a ghost until he comes. I walk through mirrors of silver light, I shed the warmth I used to know. If love has left me hollowed out, then hollow is the shape I’ll show. I have died, and I will remain dead until he returns to breathe me awake. He filled me with life, and until he does again, I do not deserve the life I take. I will train. I will learn. I will command. I will find him. I must find him. I have to find him.
