[Intro] Matt... I've been watching videos. We need to talk. [Verse 1] I seen them pretty boats rolling out that shop, Fresh graphs mounted and the wiring top-notch. Clean underneath where nobody sees, Meanwhile you're in my garage down on your knees. Flashlight in your mouth, YouTube on your phone, Saying, "Baby, trust me, I can do this one." I appreciate the effort, don't take it wrong— But I've seen what those H.O.E. boys got going on. They get new mounts, clean power, lights underneath, Every wire tucked pretty, every connection clean. Then cameras come out when the makeover's through, Matt, I've watched enough— I want my spa day too. [Chorus] Take this Hooker to H.O.E., Let those boys put their hands on me. Clean my wiring, mount my screens, Make this Crooked Hooker look tournament clean. I've seen how they treat those other boats, Fresh electronics everywhere they go. Matt, quit scrolling, you know what I need— Every good Hooker Needs a little H.O.E. [Verse 2] Don't start telling me I'm already spoiled, That's rich coming from the man buying crankbaits in bulk. "So-licks fifteen, Mega Live, Target Lock too," Exactly, baby— Look what you've already put me through. Got enough screens to launch something into space, Still watching largemouth laugh right in your face. Twenty grand showing exactly where she sits, Then you throw seventeen baits and she still won't hit. That's not my problem. My pixels did their part. I'm showing you the fish— I can't make you smart. But if I'm carrying all this technology, I want clean power running underneath me. Hennessey Harness, make those electrons flow, If we're gonna look like NASA, Let's finish the show. [Chorus] Take this Hooker to H.O.E., I deserve some professional therapy. Fresh power, clean mounts, everything tight, Then turn those cameras on when I'm looking right. I've watched those other boats getting spoiled for free— Well, maybe not free... Matt, don't look at me. You bought the boat. You created the need. Now take your Crooked Hooker Down to H.O.E. [Verse 3] And H.O.E., I've been watching y'all too, I like those little videos and the way you do what you do. Boat rolls in ordinary, rolls out mean, Then you give that girl a soundtrack for the whole damn scene. I noticed. Crooked Hooker pays attention. And I've got a proposition If you're accepting applications. You rig me right, I'll bring personality. You bring cameras, I'll bring liability. Give me that treatment you give those tournament rigs, Make Matt stand back while the professionals fix. Then shoot the reveal when I'm ready to leave, I promise you've never had a boat talk back like me. [Bridge] New wiring? Yes. Graph mounts? Yes. Clean power? Absolutely. More lights? Now you're flirting. Does Matt need another graph? No. Is he gonna buy one? Obviously. Who's paying? Matt. Perfect. [Verse 4] See, I'm not jealous... I just know what I'm worth. I've hauled this man halfway across God's green earth. Guntersville, Chickamauga, Old Hickory too, And every fishing disaster somehow happens to you. I've carried Mushy. That alone earns upgrades. I've heard "DAMMIT MUSHY!" For entire fishing days. I've chased largemouth, I've chased smallmouth, I've hauled tackle by the ton. And every time Matt says we're finally finished— Here comes another Amazon run. So H.O.E., here's your chance, Let's make something nobody's done. You already rig the boats, Let's give a Hooker some fun. Your shop. Your build. Your cameras. My song. Put Crooked Hooker on that floor And let's see what goes wrong. [Final Chorus] Take this Hooker to H.O.E., Give this girl the full VIP. Hennessey underneath, electronics up high, Clean enough to make another boat roll by and cry. Then roll me outside, Let that camera see— Crooked Hooker looking good After a day with H.O.E. You bring the tools. I'll bring the story. Matt brings the credit card reluctantly. And when somebody asks Why we work so naturally— Baby... Every Crooked Hooker Deserves a good H.O.E. [Outro] Matt? Book it. And don't touch my wiring.
