Sasquatch Eggs funnies Playlist

southern rock, Texas blues, southern metal

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V5.5

[dirty southern blues riff enters]
[medium-fast shuffle groove]
[one electric guitar, dry and greasy]

[verse one]
It ain’t hail, it ain’t snow
It ain’t sleet or freezing rain
It’s tiny little mothballs
With transmitters in the grain

They’re not listening anymore
They got sensors in the floor
And every time I try to sing
Carl says “Texas news” once more

[pre-chorus]
I’d spell radar backwards
But it reads the same both ways
One tries to read your mind
The other censors what you say

Just ask my neighbor Gribble
He’ll give you the whole damn thang
’Cause what’s rainin’ down on your head
Is meant to break your brain

[chorus]
Sasquatch!
Sasquatch!
They’re Sasquatch eggs!

[long scream]
AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

Sasquatch!
Sasquatch!
It’s the wrong time of day for hail
They’re Sasquatch eggs!

[guitar squeal]
[short riff break]

[verse two]
Birds are watching you
And listening to what you say too
Birds are government spies
In the trees and filling the skies

Except for chickens, those are real
That’s what aliens stop for here
When they need a meal
And what they leave as they fly away
Sasquatch, Sasquatch, Sasquatch eggs

[chorus]
Sasquatch!
Sasquatch!
They’re Sasquatch eggs!

[long scream]
AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

Sasquatch!
Sasquatch!
It’s the wrong time of day for hail
They’re Sasquatch eggs!

[spoken over riff]
It ain’t weather, boys.
It’s a delivery system.

[bridge]
In the light of the silvery Roomba
Came the deluge of yeti doom
Dumped from government kegs
Sasquatch, Sasquatch, Sasquatch eggs

In the light of the silvery Roomba
Beneath that low fake moon
They’re fallin’ from the sky tonight
And hatchin’ awful soon

[guitar solo]
[half-time stomp]
[drums drop to kick and snare]

[spoken]
You laugh now.
That’s how they get ya.
First it’s hail.
Then it’s mothballs.
Then there’s a seven-foot hairy toddler
chewin’ on your mailbox.

[pre-chorus reprise]
I’d spell radar backwards
But it reads the same both ways
One tries to read your mind
The other censors what you say

Just ask my neighbor Gribble
He’ll give you the whole damn thang
’Cause what’s rainin’ down on your head
Is meant to break your brain

[final chorus]
Sasquatch!
Sasquatch!
They’re Sasquatch eggs!

[long scream]
AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

Sasquatch!
Sasquatch!
It’s the wrong time of day for hail
They’re Sasquatch eggs!

Sasquatch!
Sasquatch!
Them’s Sasquatch eggs!

Sasquatch!
Sasquatch!
They’re fallin’ on my legs!

It’s the wrong time of day
And the clouds look fake as hell
That ain’t hail, boys
That’s cryptid personnel

[outro]
In the light of the silvery Roomba
Came the deluge of yeti doom
Dumped from government kegs
Sasquatch, Sasquatch, Sasquatch eggs

[guitars cut out]
[one dry acoustic guitar strums]
[pause]

[spoken, quiet and certain]
And birds ain’t real.

[dead-string acoustic thunk]
[fade to end]

3039/7500

[spoken words intro] Folks, we’re seeing a heavy band of First Amendment suppression moving east out of Midland. Expect scattered censorship, isolated thought compliance, and possible accumulation of approved talking points on untreated surfaces. [dirty southern blues riff enters] [medium-fast shuffle groove] [one electric guitar, dry and greasy] [verse one] It ain’t hail, it ain’t snow It ain’t sleet or freezing rain It’s tiny little mothballs With transmitters in the grain They’re not listening anymore They got sensors in the floor And every time I try to sing Carl says “Texas news” once more [pre-chorus] I’d spell radar backwards But it reads the same both ways One tries to read your mind The other censors what you say Just ask my neighbor Gribble He’ll give you the whole damn thang ’Cause what’s rainin’ down on your head Is meant to break your brain [chorus] Sasquatch! Sasquatch! They’re Sasquatch eggs! [long scream] AAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Sasquatch! Sasquatch! It’s the wrong time of day for hail They’re Sasquatch eggs! [guitar squeal] [short riff break] [verse two] Birds are watching you And listening to what you say too Birds are government spies In the trees and filling the skies Except for chickens, those are real That’s what aliens stop for here When they need a meal And what they leave as they fly away Sasquatch, Sasquatch, Sasquatch eggs [chorus] Sasquatch! Sasquatch! They’re Sasquatch eggs! [long scream] AAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Sasquatch! Sasquatch! It’s the wrong time of day for hail They’re Sasquatch eggs! [spoken over riff] It ain’t weather, boys. It’s a delivery system. [bridge] In the light of the silvery Roomba Came the deluge of yeti doom Dumped from government kegs Sasquatch, Sasquatch, Sasquatch eggs In the light of the silvery Roomba Beneath that low fake moon They’re fallin’ from the sky tonight And hatchin’ awful soon [guitar solo] [half-time stomp] [drums drop to kick and snare] [spoken] You laugh now. That’s how they get ya. First it’s hail. Then it’s mothballs. Then there’s a seven-foot hairy toddler chewin’ on your mailbox. [pre-chorus reprise] I’d spell radar backwards But it reads the same both ways One tries to read your mind The other censors what you say Just ask my neighbor Gribble He’ll give you the whole damn thang ’Cause what’s rainin’ down on your head Is meant to break your brain [final chorus] Sasquatch! Sasquatch! They’re Sasquatch eggs! [long scream] AAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Sasquatch! Sasquatch! It’s the wrong time of day for hail They’re Sasquatch eggs! Sasquatch! Sasquatch! Them’s Sasquatch eggs! Sasquatch! Sasquatch! They’re fallin’ on my legs! It’s the wrong time of day And the clouds look fake as hell That ain’t hail, boys That’s cryptid personnel [outro] In the light of the silvery Roomba Came the deluge of yeti doom Dumped from government kegs Sasquatch, Sasquatch, Sasquatch eggs [guitars cut out] [one dry acoustic guitar strums] [pause] [spoken, quiet and certain] And birds ain’t real. [dead-string acoustic thunk] [fade to end]

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