“I was both the blade, and the hand that held it. And still—I blamed the wound.” I see my vanity in silence, The stillness screaming louder now. Shadows flicker in my mind, Truths I thought I left behind. The lies I lived are draped in cloth — This funeral is mine. Every truth I tried to bury Crawls its way back out in time. All judgment now lies in my hands. No witness, no jury, no holy command. How much more can I apologize, For living out this filthy lie? Frantically needing a savior, I am my own Judicator. Each verdict carved behind my eyes, (Carved behind my eyes) These hands still shake with every lie. No balance found, no peace within — (No peace within) I sentence me for every sin. All judgment now lies in my hands. No witness, no jury, no holy command. How much more can I apologize, For living out this filthy lie? Frantically needing a savior, I am my own Judicator. I placed my throne On sinking sands. I’ve been undone By my own hand. The constant searching For a better life Will never happen Till I drop the knife! Is there any redemption, Or just a release? Will my end be in silence? Can I go in peace? I'll live with the judgment Of all I have done. But I'll learn from this moment— Try to walk toward the sun.
