[Intro] (Softly) Yeah… S-T-F-U Come on and hug me Softer than a pillow fight Wanna teach me? I’m just another fuckin’ reason to cry I’m just another fuckin’ one who will die ⸻ [Verse 1] So you wanna play EVE? But it’s way too tough? Well, don’t you worry, friend, We made it soft enough! Ain’t no scams in Jita, Ain’t no PvP, If you lose your ship, You get one for free! You got ganked? That ain’t right! Let’s report that mean ol’ guy CCP will roll it back, Sayin’ “bullying ain’t right!” No more gate camps, No more ganks, Now we hold hands And give thanks! ⸻ [Chorus] Soften the fuck up! Don’t you dare be mean! Soften the fuck up! This is now a cozy scene! Soften the fuck up! Life is hard, but that’s unfair! Soften the fuck up! Or get the fuck outta here! ⸻ [Verse 2] You need to calm down fast If you wanna belong No more wars, no more scams, That shit’s just too strong! No more lowsec, No more stealth Now we all play fair And share the wealth! This is EVE, motherfucker, But we’re safe and kind Toxic talk? That’s a ban— We don’t need that vibe! Don’t you dare podkill, That’s not very nice Or else CCP Will just roll the dice ⸻ [Final Chorus] Soften the fuck up! Don’t you dare be mean! Soften the fuck up! This is now a cozy scene! Soften the fuck up! Life is hard, but that’s unfair! Soften the fuck up! Or get the fuck outta here! ⸻ [Outro] (Softly, whispered) S-T-F-U… Come on and hug me… Softer than a baby’s breath… Toxicity is mean… So I’ll report you… And you’ll never play again.
